Day 448/449

Its Friday and the end of a very long week, but at least I'm on holiday next week and i have left my phone at work! That's a first.

Went running last night and managed a measly 4 miles well nearly 5 but its pitiful!! still the ankle held up and that's the most important thing. Sue has been doing some extra training but i haven't been able to up till now but feel i should even if its only a couple of miles in between. My legs ached dreadfully and that hasn't happened for a while. Maybe because i have been cycling a lot. Well hey ho cant dwell on it, but then again why not. I want to wallow in my misery!!

I could feel misery creeping up behind me again! its been a while since i felt her breath on my neck and her cloak of blackness enfold me in her cold embrace. I i eluded her, just, but i wonder for how long?
 So last night after my run i went to bed early!!! and i was up at 3am bright eyed and bushy tailed! decided to go back to bed with a cup of tea. Awoke again at 5.30am and decided to go for a run and i did!!! In the dark, ipod strapped on and off i went. I could feel myself getting dizzy after a few yards!!! oops no breakfast! but i kept going and did 2 miles round the block. Ankle felt sore though so wont run tomorrow!! MANAGED TO FALL UP THE STAIRS AT WORK TWICE!!! How stupid was that, straight onto my wrists eek!!cant afford another broken wrist!! and jarred the ankle. Will i ever be fit!!
I'm an accident waiting to happen, just so clumsy!!
Strange day at work really, spent the morning shopping for bits for one of the lounges so it was a good morning, problem is you never get caught up, but then do we ever?
Meetings this afternoon, left a pile of papers on the desk, ah well they will still be waiting for me when i return.

Tom has got his bungalow! yippee so he will be moving out soon into his own space. I'm not sure how things will go but we can but try.
Tim's not been well tonight and had to lay down on the bed for a while. No Doctor,  just wont see anyone. I couldn't but help thinking that i wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to him. I cant go there, no,no,no!!!
Is it called burying ones head in the sand? yes!!! but I'm up to the waist if that is the case!!

I found Mikey's wedding vows tonight and it made me so sad. I remember the wedding, he was so proud that day and so in love. Despite everything that happened he loved Claire until he passed away.  I wonder if people realise when love that unconditional is given what a gift it is. Probably not. But hey i have become very cynical and hard over the last few months. I think that if you cover yourself with these protective shields you will not get hurt. I wonder how effective they are though.


The weather has changed today its so very cold! and standing outside it rained, it rained leaves!! they were everywhere, being dragged away from the branches by the wind in huge amounts. It was amazing. No camera either, isn't that always the way.

Tim's been talking today about missed opportunities. We made our decisions in the past and cant change them we can only look forward. Each day is a struggle for me and i just go from day to day and have i suppose become very selfish, i have changed!!! i have never thought of putting myself first and i guess that's what i have been doing and hang the consequences! lts hope i don't rue the day so to speak.

Do you know i may just do some decorating this week, just for a change!! May though i hasten to add!!

I'm running on Sunday with my great nephew and niece, they have taken pity on me and said we will help auntie Sue! i should be ashamed of myself and said no but to be honest i need as much help as i can so i said thank you!!! You never know that may be just the thing i need. Only a few miles though and save myself for the mid week runs.
We have entered a 10 mile run in December and that's not too far away so i have to get going!!!
Physio on Thursday and i hope that will be positive. Its been so long since i have been fit. Honestly, i don't think i really recovered from the injury i had before i went on holiday in June! 

Well I'm off to check Tim and then bed because Tomorrow is another day.................