Well we are off on our holidays in a couple of hours. I'm not sure how i feel about it really. I do know i am in desperate need of a break, so we will see.
I have spent the past few days just weeping at every little thing. I feel so incredibly sad and cant get out of this dark place. It would appear misery has found me yet again and doesn't she just know how to chose her moments. Mikey is in the forefront of my thoughts all the time and i miss him!
I do have so much to be thankful for, a good husband and another lovely son, but it just doesn't seem enough. How selfish am i.
Yesterday was without doubt one of the most miserable days i have had at work. I know i cant cope with another like that. It wasn't the work but the people! Myself included.
It was hot in the office no air and that didn't help. I was doing my first 5k run and wasn't in the mood. I thought i may get off early and ice the ankle before i went but that didn't work out.
Tim and Tom wished me luck and gave those knowing looks.
So the race well i got my first number i was 78! Sue bought us all an energy tube! Lord then we were told the route. Oops we hadn't planned on that, rather longer than we thought and over grass.
Started off well but it was so very hot, breathing was OK but my legs ached quite soon into the run. Not usual for me. I told Sue to run on and leave me as i was slower than she was tonight. It was a race after all.
I was last!!!! but everyone was really kind, its no fun running alone and i was feeling like giving up. Along the path in front of me came two walkers. Its a lovely spot to walk and lots of people walk their dogs along the same route. Anyway as they got closer it was my very dear friend Diana and her husband calling out support, so i got a hug on the run and an offer to come with me! how about that. I kept going and was on the home straight when Keith one of the club runners came back to pace me!! that really helped . So i finished and felt like ......... Apparently i did the course at 12 min a mile. So a lot of improvement needed!!!
Lots of practice needed on holiday.
Home and then a night shift to get up to date with some reports. The damn computer kept crashing and found it almost impossible to get them done. I attempted other work and cleared a back log but not what i wanted to do. I wonder if it will still be there on my return.
So I'm going to sign off now and before i know it i will be sitting here again and the holiday will be over. What is that saying, today is the tomorrow i was dreading yesterday.................... Tomorrow is another day!
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