Days 378/386

I cant believe its been a week, well more than that. Does it mean I'm coping better. Well lord only knows!!!

I almost feel as if I'm being robbed of my own time. When i took on this job i had know idea just how bad things would be. I wouldn't mind but the pressure is immense! and then the expectation to do more and not within my own environment becomes almost unbearable.

I thought last Friday i would be getting a good sleep before Tom came down. Nope out until 0500hrs Sat morning. A few hours sleep a call from Tom and Doncaster beckoned. Tom arrived with his dog and off we go to my sisters, eventually arrive home a quick cup of tea and the i drive to Doncaster. Splitting headache and a few tablets, help Tom pack some bits and load up the cars. Tim's at home with the pup!!!! We had hoped to get home reasonably early but i was so tired i didn't feel safe driving without a kip. That didn't work!!! so we left Donnie and started home.

Multiple stops on the way home because Tom was spending more time looking in the rear view mirror of his car watching me weave all over the place. We eventually got home about 0230rhs!!!
Weekend really spoilt because i couldn't catch up on my sleep i had lost.

Sunday was spent getting Tom settled in and him going over to see Rocky as he was bereft without his dog.

Tom first day at his new job Monday and work was to get increasingly more pressurised by the day.

I have been falling into bed about 0230hrs every day. Going back to work etc.

Tim and i have barely had a conversation at all this week and today he really was not happy.

I was asked to work tomorrow, i said no i was too tired, than asked if i could do Sunday for 4 days in another area. I cant and had to say so. Its just too much.

Really not sure where to go from here and yet again finding myself thinking about my options!!

Found it hard getting into a routine where i have to pack someones lunches!!! and give them shout to get up. I'm the worst person to depend on for that.

The only time i had to myself was running!! luckily my back is improving and was allowed to go Tuesday and try, so i did. I bought a Garmen and happily strapped that on, turned it on and off we went.
Did a little better than i thought. Went to check distance etc on this wrist thingy and it was blank!!! i couldn't understand it until one of the younger runners looked at it for me and said, this button says start and stop!!! yep i hadn't pressed the start button!! so Thursday my lovely running partner bought out a magnifying glass at the club this Thursday!! I only just managed to get to Thursday, got home with just time to put kit on and off i went. Cant even get off on time!!!

We are finding it hard having someone else in the house and I'm sure Tom is finding it hard not having his own space. He will be happier I'm sure when he has his own house and living close to family and friends and get Rocky back.
This blog is so negative and i so desperately want to have the time to reflect maybe soon. After all tomorrow is another day......................................