Day 738

How odd, this page just came up without me signing in. Must be in shock because I'm here the next day!!

Goodness its so warm, no air this evening. Lets hope i wake in the morning a pound lighter. I have my doubts about that though.

It remains hard to get motivated! the more time off work the less i think i want to start, on the other hand it is quite boring. I'm not used to it. 2 months off work and i haven't really done anything useful at all! i suppose once I'm back in working mode i will wish i had done more when i had the opportunity, ah well such is life.

I'm trying to put together some albums of my running, the Olympic run and marathon but i was questioning myself today who they are for? and why I'm doing it. Maybe they will be used in my later years to trigger my memories. Sad that that's all they will do. I'm a hoarder, the loft full of things that may come in useful sometime. That time never comes does it, so why on earth i continue to behave in the same manner bemuses me. Perhaps i should have a sort out, after all Tom will be left to do that at some stage and do i really want him to have that task. Like me he too is a hoarder and then he will be surrounded by a load of useless things that he will never look at even though he thinks he will!
The thought of some one else browsing through my knicker draw fills me with horror! So do i start throwing bits away? goodness my wardrobes, loft, cupboards etc are heaving with clothes that i may just get into some day. The chances are if that ever happens it will be the return of said fashion, possibly the third time round. I still have platform soled shoes in the loft from the 70's i suppose i could bring them down, i guess they are called retro now!

Isn't the mind a peculiar thing. How many of us sit a let our thoughts drift to the what ifs, the maybes and perhaps. We should just live day to day but we are a nation of planners, we plan for our weddings, our babies and our old age, why on earth are we so intent on passing our time away with useless things! Is it what makes us who we are? then there are times perhaps i could be someone else, but then i wouldn't be who i am or have the people in my life would i. You see a typical situation of time wasting!!!

I guess this blog has now changed to a diary, or has it. Its still my private place where i can shrug off the worries of the day and it has certainly kept me sane over the last two years. For that i thank Mikey who kept a blog and gave me the idea, so very long ago now it seems.

Thank goodness for Duke these last few weeks or i think we would have gone mad, Tim at least has something to do and something who depends on him for his well being, always good be needed. Maybe that's whats wrong with me at the moment, i don't feel needed.
I keep telling myself to get a grip, but as you can tell its not working!

Well i have read the books i wanted to read for ages and never had the time, watched the DVDs that i have been wanting to see, so I'm all caught up! what next!! i will no doubt be letting my mind drift when i crawl into bed at some godforsaken time. Wait for the eyelids to drop unaided, wake with the light on, specs on the nose still or under the armpits if I'm not so lucky. I have ruined so many pairs of specs that way recently, i have a hoard of those as well!! all colours.

Accessing FB is still problematic so i suppose my little computer man will have to be called out again! i have all the protection but these beastly viruses creep in undetected. I have to say it also makes me question the world we live in, how easy it is for all our information to be obtained by pressing a button. I wonder who has been scanning these pages, a bit like the knicker draw scenario ist it. Um food for thought, or nightmares if you think too hard.

Harvesting is going on all around us and the air is heavy with dust, i must try and get some photographs, we haven't been out for ages. I will suggest it to Tim tomorrow, depending on what time i get up!!!

Do you know i sit here looking at the fan wondering why on earth i haven't put it on. Wish we had air conditioning but i suppose it will be years before all houses are built with that as a normal feature.
Well Dukes asking to go out Tim's asleep, as usual so i best let him out, make a cup of tea and watch a movie! and try to sleep.

 Ah well tomorrow is another day.......................