I really have been so stressed with work and had to return several evenings. This meant not getting to bed until the early hours and then up the next day well the same day actually!!
How often i have questioned what im doing and yet the stubborn part of just will not give in. Tim's so fed up i think he has given up arguing about the amount of time i spend at work. Will it change anything, well i guess only time will tell.
I'm at a funny age to start something different and truth to tell i just cant be bothered, I'm tired!
I feel my whole existence is work driven and that's wrong surely. The joy i may have had from running is diminished and over shadowed by it. I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel but i can honestly say i think its blocked!
I have some leave coming up and I'm not even looking forward to that. How bad is that!! I think i worry about the volume of work when i return.
So whats happened in the month i have been away from here.
Well the fact that we still miss Mikey is still with us and i don't think it will change. I wondered what i would do once i had run the marathon, and i need to run. I need something to keep me focused and grounded and i think this is it.
I injured my knee just before the marathon and had physio to keep me going. Had it strapped just in case, well it went at mile 13 and i really struggled with the rest of the race and now have been told its a torn cartilage and will most probably need an operation!!! i hope not, if i do i want it done now!!!!!
I'm going to ramble tonight i can feel it! i will flit from topic to topic but hey ho it will make things more interesting.
I have been asked since the Marathon if i feel proud of my achievement and i can honestly say no . I don't feel anything. I'm really pleased that i have managed to do something and to have raised some money for the CF unit. I hope Mikey would have been proud of me. Somehow as soon as i crossed the finish like i thought oh, it wasn't what i expected. I think i must have had a different idea on what sensations i would have, but none. It could be because i was in so much discomfort from the knee and i was so tired! Then having to catch a bus and not actually enjoying the day! Mind you the heat was unbearable and relentless! seeing grown men being resuscitated on the side of the road didn't make me feel good. I was also passed by an extreme ironing board, an ice cream cone, superman and an enormous teddy! I was however given a jelly baby by a spectator! Hosed down from peoples garden sprinklers and had a bucket of water thrown over me by children, well two buckets full as i was going so slow they had time to fill another. Nearly scared witless when running through the country park when i was trying to get a drink only to hear the bushes rustle, thinking the worse i hastily screwed the bottle top on , only to have a soldier emerge from the shrubbery in full battle dress saying, awight! So feeling rather sorry for myself decided to ring my buddy for some support! no reply, i later found out she was sitting having a scone and cup of tea in BHS!!
I didn't get a blister or sore legs no cramp! but a wretched knee!
Finished!!!!
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