28 days! that's a whole month. I spoke last time of just drifting well Ive been carried along on a strong current and just beached!
I very often question what i do with my time and how i mean to do things and puff its weeks past.
Its not as if i have been doing anything exciting, days of work roll into the weekend where i do my training walk and its back to the grindstone.
Work has been interesting with a huge project underway now a massive refurbishment. Statistical manoeuvring is not my strong point and i am faced with daily challenges by the time i arrive home its past 7 and tired! I try to leave early n Tuesdays and Thursdays to run and have managed it with a push. Resulting in Tim and i spending less time together. At least i am on least this week, weeell i had to go in for a few hours this afternoon!!!
The days are getting longer and I'm now leaving work in the daylight, always a positive feeling. The weather has been changeable to say the least and yet again faced this weekend with snow.
We have got our charity web page up and started and now trying to sort out a mini bus to get us down to Guildford and its only 7 weeks away. How odd, we should be looking forward to warmer days and yet it feels as if we are still in the middle of winter.
Mikeys friends wedding is only 6 weeks away and I'm looking forward to the day, must book a hotel! job for tomorrow.
Its coming up to a year since the Olympic run and have a celebration run on Thursday. Luckily we can enter and run with friends as getting together would be really hard as we are dotted about all over the country and abroad! Need to wear race t shirt, blast it has short sleeves! and get a photo. The running has been good lately and i do think the walking is helping although Tuesday run is always hard, still suffering from Sunday. We are up to 25 miles now and my knee is starting to groan! so i think i will walk every other weekend. I'm confident i will manage the 40.
Shopping today and bought a new waist bag and rucksack. Sundays walk found me with sore tops of arms, so bag may not be right for me, now is the time to try new things, oh and some new headys! they are a godsend in this cold weather. 5 layers of clothing makes it tough to waddle let alone walk and trying to use the facilities!!! is a nightmare, As i said i enjoy a challenge. The company is good and we are never short on conversation! Getting out of the bath after a long soak is proving to be a tad difficult! and then falling asleep mid conversation with husband doesn't always bode well!
I'm rambling tonight and no order to my thoughts just writing what i remember, that's saying something as the old grey matter appears to be fading! such is age!
Sue one of our walkers is on her 5th or 6th pair of shoes, just trying to get some that suit her, lets hope Sundays pair are OK, still we did have to stop twice and apply plasters! not an easy task in snow and wind, freezing conditions and no fence to lean on when you want one!
I felt as if Misery had hold of me a month ago and her grip has been relentless, now i feel she is perched on my shoulder constantly whispering in my ear. The sadness is overwhelming at times and yet passes like smoke on the wind only to meander its way back a few minutes later. I think in some way i almost have comfort knowing shes there, if she goes away does that mean i am forgetting and i don't want that to happen so perhaps I'm even wishing to be miserable or sad. Mikey would be mortified and would hate that i am wasting so much time on self indulgence and would tell me to get a life!! but its just so hard.
I have a place in the Great Eastern Half Marathon in October and was reminded quite strongly that i need to get my passport sorted out so another job for this week, still i have been saying that for almost 3 years. 3 years in August i cannot believe it, time is the most curious of things.
Duke went to doggy day care today! we are trying to get him used to leaving us, and then we can go away for a break, when I'm not sure i suppose i should start looking.
Gosh its so cold sitting here tonight a can feel the draught cutting across my feet, well i should wear my slippers, ha a sure sign of age creeping up.
Dads birthday is coming up so i will go to Eastwood This weekend and take some flowers and give them a spruce up ready for the warmer days!
New trainers arrived from USA and i have now become an e bay user, that's another thing different i have been successful in my bids lol. Mikey would have been amazed that i was doing this, still would wonder if i have done it right!.
The steering on my car went last week, no the week before as i drove to work! and took a week to repair! Tom had also had his car off the road so we were all sharing one car for a while, me staying up till Tom finished, taking him home so i had the car in the morning, tom taking me running so he had it in the evening and me having a walk home afterwards as no car! the joys of mechanical breakdowns. All well at the moment!
So i think we are off to the coast tomorrow if its not too cold and some retail therapy. So to bed i think, after all tomorrow is another day.............
Monday, 25 March 2013
Monday, 25 February 2013
Day 878-891
Well yet again i appear to have failed with my good intentions. Its been 2 weeks.
Work has yet again become that roller coaster, that treadmill that i have climbed aboard and struggling to get off!
I have said i wouldn't let it happen again but it did. It has crept up on me and overtaken life again! So how do i achieve. I question myself every evening and i am somehow just managing to fade when i get home.
Tuesdays and Thursdays are fine because i run and last week i seemed almost back to the level of fitness before the op, i wonder how tomorrow will go. I have a lousy cold and chest infection. Hum, well that caught me by surprise as well!
Weekends are taken up with the long training walks, that's when I'm not working. Ah yes the weekend working and get the days off in the week, that's not happening either! it has taken two weeks to get the days back, then they have been split and the phone calls on those days off, just getting someone else to take the responsibility for those days has been so hard! ah well just have to keep trying.
How odd that we wake on Monday morning and blink and its Friday!
This morning driving to work, lost in thought and i was almost to Lynn, and i recall thinking, i cant remember passing through he large roundabout! Auto pilot or poor concentration who knows!
Have i learnt nothing about the value of time? I'm not sure. i seem to recall so many days where i pondered and questioned, has all that been for nothing?
The lighter days are coming and there seems to be some signs that the seasons are changing i miss my crow watching surely the nesting has begun, so why am i not looking.
Without a doubt not having Mikey has a profound effect, trying to fill the void with something has been a challenge, now i just cant seem to drum up even that small amount of interest. So what is the purpose, what is it all about. You know i have no answers, the seeking, the questioning is slowly fading into not caring, a malaise. Drifting, no rudder, dreams? of what, hope oh that wondrous word so full of meaning and yet now so empty, meaningless a sham, who thought of that, who gave us hope and to what aim. To some that hope did become a reality and dreams do come true, but ah why not us then? why do some people have luck, is it fate? are our paths mapped out if so then we have no choices do we? I wonder.
Too long tonight wool gathering, too long tonight feeling sorry for myself! too long tonight feeling so damn angry for still trying to reach for the moon knowing, damn well knowing I'm after the impossible. too damn long wanting the impossible and too damn long wanting and wishing to turn back the clock and yet..................
Misery has found me!!
Ah well tomorrow is another day.
Work has yet again become that roller coaster, that treadmill that i have climbed aboard and struggling to get off!
I have said i wouldn't let it happen again but it did. It has crept up on me and overtaken life again! So how do i achieve. I question myself every evening and i am somehow just managing to fade when i get home.
Tuesdays and Thursdays are fine because i run and last week i seemed almost back to the level of fitness before the op, i wonder how tomorrow will go. I have a lousy cold and chest infection. Hum, well that caught me by surprise as well!
Weekends are taken up with the long training walks, that's when I'm not working. Ah yes the weekend working and get the days off in the week, that's not happening either! it has taken two weeks to get the days back, then they have been split and the phone calls on those days off, just getting someone else to take the responsibility for those days has been so hard! ah well just have to keep trying.
How odd that we wake on Monday morning and blink and its Friday!
This morning driving to work, lost in thought and i was almost to Lynn, and i recall thinking, i cant remember passing through he large roundabout! Auto pilot or poor concentration who knows!
Have i learnt nothing about the value of time? I'm not sure. i seem to recall so many days where i pondered and questioned, has all that been for nothing?
The lighter days are coming and there seems to be some signs that the seasons are changing i miss my crow watching surely the nesting has begun, so why am i not looking.
Without a doubt not having Mikey has a profound effect, trying to fill the void with something has been a challenge, now i just cant seem to drum up even that small amount of interest. So what is the purpose, what is it all about. You know i have no answers, the seeking, the questioning is slowly fading into not caring, a malaise. Drifting, no rudder, dreams? of what, hope oh that wondrous word so full of meaning and yet now so empty, meaningless a sham, who thought of that, who gave us hope and to what aim. To some that hope did become a reality and dreams do come true, but ah why not us then? why do some people have luck, is it fate? are our paths mapped out if so then we have no choices do we? I wonder.
Too long tonight wool gathering, too long tonight feeling sorry for myself! too long tonight feeling so damn angry for still trying to reach for the moon knowing, damn well knowing I'm after the impossible. too damn long wanting the impossible and too damn long wanting and wishing to turn back the clock and yet..................
Misery has found me!!
Ah well tomorrow is another day.
Monday, 11 February 2013
Days 857-877
Ok so its been 3 weeks, hard to appreciate how time just goes by and has merged into one day because that's what it seems like.
So the snow came and went and has returned again!.
I have managed to do my long training walks and have reached 14.5 miles. I missed this weekends because i had to work. That's become very odd now weekend working and i have looked forward to a day off in the week. As yet that has not materialised, no time!!
Tim's worried that i will get back into old habits and its true it happens without you realising it.
The running is going well and at last I'm getting back to some level of fitness.
The backs better and the knee is holding up.
I have been up to Billericay well actually its down to Billericay, for some reason we always say going up to London when in fact we do go down. Ah well that's Fen folk for you.
Some early morning training pics. Some how managed to get them on.
The drive to work and home continue to offer some solace. A time for reflection and chilling!. It has crossed my mind so often lately that this year it will be 3 years since we lost Mikey. It still seems like yesterday.
What have we done in that time and where are we now in our lives, we are still in the same place. I have however renewed old friendships made contact with some relations who have become very dear friends and a source of support a shoulder to lean on and more importantly we are family and extension of me. I am grateful for that.
I entered the Great North run and didn't get a place but its not the end of the world, something else will come along. The great eastern i hope.
I have entered the run the world race. i have until November to clock my monthly runs and then 23rd is the anniversary run of our Olympic run and i took some photos of the stadium and park today. It looks rather sad.
I will endeavour to make a huge effort to blog daily i miss the time i spend on here writing and sharing my thoughts. I guess i better get to bed ah well tomorrow is another day..........................
So the snow came and went and has returned again!.
I have managed to do my long training walks and have reached 14.5 miles. I missed this weekends because i had to work. That's become very odd now weekend working and i have looked forward to a day off in the week. As yet that has not materialised, no time!!
Tim's worried that i will get back into old habits and its true it happens without you realising it.
The running is going well and at last I'm getting back to some level of fitness.
The backs better and the knee is holding up.
I have been up to Billericay well actually its down to Billericay, for some reason we always say going up to London when in fact we do go down. Ah well that's Fen folk for you.
Some early morning training pics. Some how managed to get them on.
The drive to work and home continue to offer some solace. A time for reflection and chilling!. It has crossed my mind so often lately that this year it will be 3 years since we lost Mikey. It still seems like yesterday.
What have we done in that time and where are we now in our lives, we are still in the same place. I have however renewed old friendships made contact with some relations who have become very dear friends and a source of support a shoulder to lean on and more importantly we are family and extension of me. I am grateful for that.
I entered the Great North run and didn't get a place but its not the end of the world, something else will come along. The great eastern i hope.
I have entered the run the world race. i have until November to clock my monthly runs and then 23rd is the anniversary run of our Olympic run and i took some photos of the stadium and park today. It looks rather sad.
I will endeavour to make a huge effort to blog daily i miss the time i spend on here writing and sharing my thoughts. I guess i better get to bed ah well tomorrow is another day..........................
Monday, 21 January 2013
Day 851-856
Almost another week, time is passing and before we know it January will be out.
Didn't get to London, the roads were really bad and the trains stopped running. First snow and we grind to a stop. We never learn do we.
The good thing was i managed to get out for a run and yet again i managed a good 5.6 miles and in less than an hour, not bad. Mind you it was cold and i prefer to run in the cold rather than the heat.
We completed our first training walk on Sunday and managed 11.5 miles and just reached home before the snow came down, and what a heavy down fall it was. Snowed from 11.30am until the early hours of this morning.
The grippers were really good on my walking shoes although Pats husband had to put them on for me after i almost blinded Deb when it pinged off mid stretch over the soles. Still Pat and i never slipped on the ice at all and had an advantage over the others.
Surprisingly the snow ploughs made a good job of the roads and it wasn't too bad getting to work today. No maintenance man today so we managed to clear the driveway ourselves, who needs men then!!
We went out with Duke last night and Tim slipped over and of course instead of asking if he was OK, the camera was out and trying hard not to fall over with laughing snapped him as he lay floundering on the floor. Too good an opportunity to pass up!! Poor Duke just stood still in amazement!
He was probably exhausted from chasing the rabbits across the field. The snow was so deep and almost like daylight with the whiteness on the snow illuminating the night. Odd that.
Oh my word i think i have cracked it! its only taken an hour and a half so i will try and add some tomorrow! after all it is another day............................
Didn't get to London, the roads were really bad and the trains stopped running. First snow and we grind to a stop. We never learn do we.
The good thing was i managed to get out for a run and yet again i managed a good 5.6 miles and in less than an hour, not bad. Mind you it was cold and i prefer to run in the cold rather than the heat.
We completed our first training walk on Sunday and managed 11.5 miles and just reached home before the snow came down, and what a heavy down fall it was. Snowed from 11.30am until the early hours of this morning.
The grippers were really good on my walking shoes although Pats husband had to put them on for me after i almost blinded Deb when it pinged off mid stretch over the soles. Still Pat and i never slipped on the ice at all and had an advantage over the others.
Surprisingly the snow ploughs made a good job of the roads and it wasn't too bad getting to work today. No maintenance man today so we managed to clear the driveway ourselves, who needs men then!!
He was probably exhausted from chasing the rabbits across the field. The snow was so deep and almost like daylight with the whiteness on the snow illuminating the night. Odd that.
Oh my word i think i have cracked it! its only taken an hour and a half so i will try and add some tomorrow! after all it is another day............................
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Day 845-850
Well its been 6 days. I have lost another 2 pounds and have run m,y first race since being injured.
Physio yesterday and more exercises to do, i need to strengthen the ankles ready for the long walk in May. Mikey's birthday month. I wonder what he would say if he was here now! plenty i would imagine.
Getting back to running has been really hard, much harder than i imagined. Maybe its because of my age, or just because i am not as fit? um food for thought.
The race on Sunday was 5 miles. 5 miles in freezing icy conditions and rather dangerous running beside the river. By the time i got to that stretch it had been well and truly run over and was a slippery muddy part of the course. HAVING SAID THAT I MADE IT!! It was a bit of a rush getting to the race though. I decided to cycle to the venue, home baked cake in bike basket. As we were hosting the race all members bake!! So cake on top of my kit and almost there when i realised i had forgotten my Garmin!! so it was home again collect the watch, Tim was waiting at the top of the drive holding it out!! Back down to the race, 7 miles before i had run!!! still i suppose that counted as a warm up.
I decided to wear my old trainers and they were so much better than the new ones, i can feel another shop coming on.
The weather has changed and the fen is wearing her winter coat. White again! Snow fall and everything comes to a grinding halt. The back roads leading to Wisbech are scary and i have had a couple of white knuckle rides this week. My little Tigra has become a skitty nervous beast, she truly is a fair weather vehicle! Roll on the Summer. The days are getting longer though, its now daylight until 4pm soon be light to drive home.
We are out for a training walk on Sunday, so not sure how that will go. I have the required walking shoes and just hope i do not acquire blisters, 10 miles i think we are doing.
London again on Thursday so no run for me, i will attempt to go out on Friday for run as i am running the world until November. Well not literally i belong to a really good running group which started when we ran in the Olympic stadium. Need to run 300 miles by November. Thank goodness training walks count too.
Work is going well, but we have the same problems just different people! but it pays the bills!!!
Just tried putting photos on with no success ah well tomorrow is another day..........................
Physio yesterday and more exercises to do, i need to strengthen the ankles ready for the long walk in May. Mikey's birthday month. I wonder what he would say if he was here now! plenty i would imagine.
Getting back to running has been really hard, much harder than i imagined. Maybe its because of my age, or just because i am not as fit? um food for thought.
The race on Sunday was 5 miles. 5 miles in freezing icy conditions and rather dangerous running beside the river. By the time i got to that stretch it had been well and truly run over and was a slippery muddy part of the course. HAVING SAID THAT I MADE IT!! It was a bit of a rush getting to the race though. I decided to cycle to the venue, home baked cake in bike basket. As we were hosting the race all members bake!! So cake on top of my kit and almost there when i realised i had forgotten my Garmin!! so it was home again collect the watch, Tim was waiting at the top of the drive holding it out!! Back down to the race, 7 miles before i had run!!! still i suppose that counted as a warm up.
I decided to wear my old trainers and they were so much better than the new ones, i can feel another shop coming on.
The weather has changed and the fen is wearing her winter coat. White again! Snow fall and everything comes to a grinding halt. The back roads leading to Wisbech are scary and i have had a couple of white knuckle rides this week. My little Tigra has become a skitty nervous beast, she truly is a fair weather vehicle! Roll on the Summer. The days are getting longer though, its now daylight until 4pm soon be light to drive home.
We are out for a training walk on Sunday, so not sure how that will go. I have the required walking shoes and just hope i do not acquire blisters, 10 miles i think we are doing.
London again on Thursday so no run for me, i will attempt to go out on Friday for run as i am running the world until November. Well not literally i belong to a really good running group which started when we ran in the Olympic stadium. Need to run 300 miles by November. Thank goodness training walks count too.
Work is going well, but we have the same problems just different people! but it pays the bills!!!
Just tried putting photos on with no success ah well tomorrow is another day..........................
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Day 880-884
So bad habits return rather too quickly i feel! still i have managed to get to this page before a week is out!
Up early for early morning run on Sunday and it was so hard, thick fog, lost my running buddy so a friend ran back to find her, no luck so i went back, no luck i ran backwards and forwards over the river bridge 3 times and in the end a fisherman shouted that way!! except the wrong group of runners in the end i gave up and ran alone only to return to the club house to discover that no one found each other. Lesson learnt, run alone when things are like that lol.
Sunday evening we had first meeting about the 40 mile walk and goodness we have got to get cracking with the mileage. Our first walk will be on the 20th it will be for 10 miles. Still trying to sort out a mini bus, hotel booking made as we have to start really early in the morning on the day of the challenge.
Weighed in and to my surprise 3 lb lost in my first week. Certainly inspired me to go for week 2.
Ran on Tuesday and decided to run alone. The reason being the only pressure i would get was from myself and i managed a 5 mile run, time not brilliant but its a start. Going to give it another whirl tomorrow and if it goes well i will enter the frostbite on Sunday, we will have to wait and see.
Today i have been up to or down to Wokingham! across London and those wretched tubes again. Such a long day, leaving home at 5.15am and not getting home until 8pm is very tiring, will try to get off early on Thursday but the chances of that happening are slim.
So nearly through another week!!!
Must buy cake for tomorrow, if its your birthday you buy the teas and cake for after the run! but no cake for me!!!
Really must chat to my niece and ask how to put photos on here and i need to write on the blog for the fund raising page!
Its bed for me now I'm tired! and i haven't done my stretches yet but i honestly do not think i can cope with the ball tonight, i may just roll off it and cause a mischief! and i will try my old running shoes to see how they go on my next run.
So i will try to post on time in the future but tomorrow is another day...................
Up early for early morning run on Sunday and it was so hard, thick fog, lost my running buddy so a friend ran back to find her, no luck so i went back, no luck i ran backwards and forwards over the river bridge 3 times and in the end a fisherman shouted that way!! except the wrong group of runners in the end i gave up and ran alone only to return to the club house to discover that no one found each other. Lesson learnt, run alone when things are like that lol.
Sunday evening we had first meeting about the 40 mile walk and goodness we have got to get cracking with the mileage. Our first walk will be on the 20th it will be for 10 miles. Still trying to sort out a mini bus, hotel booking made as we have to start really early in the morning on the day of the challenge.
Weighed in and to my surprise 3 lb lost in my first week. Certainly inspired me to go for week 2.
Ran on Tuesday and decided to run alone. The reason being the only pressure i would get was from myself and i managed a 5 mile run, time not brilliant but its a start. Going to give it another whirl tomorrow and if it goes well i will enter the frostbite on Sunday, we will have to wait and see.
Today i have been up to or down to Wokingham! across London and those wretched tubes again. Such a long day, leaving home at 5.15am and not getting home until 8pm is very tiring, will try to get off early on Thursday but the chances of that happening are slim.
So nearly through another week!!!
Must buy cake for tomorrow, if its your birthday you buy the teas and cake for after the run! but no cake for me!!!
Really must chat to my niece and ask how to put photos on here and i need to write on the blog for the fund raising page!
Its bed for me now I'm tired! and i haven't done my stretches yet but i honestly do not think i can cope with the ball tonight, i may just roll off it and cause a mischief! and i will try my old running shoes to see how they go on my next run.
So i will try to post on time in the future but tomorrow is another day...................
Friday, 4 January 2013
Day 879
Good gracious i ached all over today! surely not more problems. I'm hoping not! Hope , see i have used that word so loosely yet again.
So i decided to purchase some walking boot/shoes ready for all the training. We are getting together Sunday evening to try and thrash out a regime to enable us to complete the 40 miles in May
Tried the new shoes out tonight and they seem fine and I'm about to purchase some Hilly Twin skins to prevent blistering. We will see.
So today i had off, i shopped, i enjoy a bit of retail therapy. Then later this evening Tim, Duke and i had a really good walk. The day over!
Why do the days seem so long i ask myself when a day like today just flew past. Um a mystery to be sure.
Today's interesting item, well nothing apart from a rather large fire on a farm which resulted in smoke covering the bypass, but the smell was glorious, wood smoke, i love the smell.
The fields remain water logged the ditches overflowing with water. Some of the new crops are yellowing, i suppose they are drowning. This means that all our veg will be expensive. I saw two notices today. One on the side of the road advertising potatoes for sale, field grown. Is there any other way. The second sign in the shopping centre advertising ear piercing, while you wait. Now I'm not the sharpest knife in the box but even i worked out that our ears are attached!! You have to smile.
Still cant upload pictures um will have to give this some more thought, but tomorrow is another day.........
So i decided to purchase some walking boot/shoes ready for all the training. We are getting together Sunday evening to try and thrash out a regime to enable us to complete the 40 miles in May
Tried the new shoes out tonight and they seem fine and I'm about to purchase some Hilly Twin skins to prevent blistering. We will see.
So today i had off, i shopped, i enjoy a bit of retail therapy. Then later this evening Tim, Duke and i had a really good walk. The day over!
Why do the days seem so long i ask myself when a day like today just flew past. Um a mystery to be sure.
Today's interesting item, well nothing apart from a rather large fire on a farm which resulted in smoke covering the bypass, but the smell was glorious, wood smoke, i love the smell.
The fields remain water logged the ditches overflowing with water. Some of the new crops are yellowing, i suppose they are drowning. This means that all our veg will be expensive. I saw two notices today. One on the side of the road advertising potatoes for sale, field grown. Is there any other way. The second sign in the shopping centre advertising ear piercing, while you wait. Now I'm not the sharpest knife in the box but even i worked out that our ears are attached!! You have to smile.
Still cant upload pictures um will have to give this some more thought, but tomorrow is another day.........
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