I know the dates of the blog do not seem to follow but i made a mistake with the day number on 4th July and i don't seem to be able to change it. So yes this is the right day and there are no gaps!!! Well i never said i was perfect.
Its been one hell of a week so far and today has to have been the worst!
So, whats happened, well work has been a relentless beast and sometimes i have to wonder if its all worth it. The world has gone mad, when one thing changes it just has this rebounding effect. No matter how you try there seems to be no room to catch up. I really think that if i was to do 24 hrs every day there would always be something not done, but perhaps not in the volume. Maybe.
Yes i know I'm doing a lot in the evenings but if only i could get away on time, that would make a huge difference. It seems to be rush rush rush. That's on top of having the new pup.
My emotions at the moment are in over drive. I could weep at the drop of a hat and have done so. I miss Mikey so very much, i can see him now walking through the back door, leaning for a rest against the work top. I can see him in hospital going off to theatre and i can see him coming back. I feel the loss as much now as then, it hasn't changed.
Oh i can numb the pain by pretending all is well but its so tiring living a pretence. So bone weary tiring.The constant inner turmoil just to get out of bed in the mornings and the dread of getting into bed at night.
The pup has made such a difference to Tim, he is smiling and has plenty to say and do now. That's a joy for me to see. It hurts just to pet and reassure the pup when he wants attention. It reminds me of stroking Mikey in that damn hospital bed. Helpless and not being able to have my baby back. I cant accept his death. I know he isn't here but i just like to think that hes away and i haven't seen him for a while. It really does seem just like yesterday that we said see you later to him. Is that a way of coping. Is that life. Am i going mad. Maybe, maybe.
I read somewhere recently that... 'There is no easy way to love- the consequence of loving is to suffer.' How many would agree to that.
I suppose i ought to make this blog cheerful somehow, but i damn well don't feel like it today. I want to wallow in self pity and misery. Shes won, i give in, Misery can have what there is left of me and welcome. Let her feast, she will banquet tonight. But tomorrow, well, its another day.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Monday, 4 July 2011
Day 209
What a day!!! no time to think and no time to draw breath!
Up most of the night with the new addition to the family!!! i eventually got off to sleep at 4 am!!!! Awoken to Tim calling me and this bundle of fur shooting across the floor with my race sock in his mouth! This hastily retrieved by Tim only for Duke to swiftly collect something else! I should have taken that as an omen of the day to come.
Tim informed me that at 5 am he was up with Duke, grabbed my dressing gown to let Duke out when he did, Duke thought it was play time snatched at the belt and virtually disrobed Tim in one swift pull of the belt, leaving Tim exposing himself to all and sundry!! Maybe he will get some clothes on next time!!!
Work has been relentless, the phone hasn't stopped the people wanting to talk with me, care to be planned staff to be contacted the list goes on!!!
Duke to the vets for his jabs and micro chipping. I came home on my bike and didn't get it parked before Tim climbed on to go to town whilst i ate!!! it was something like the pony express!!!
Swimming tonight and then shopping.
Met a lady whose son had died several years ago and offered her condolences about Mikey!! so i blubbed in the shop. Later i met my very dear friend Diana who now has problems herself and if i can help her i will. It doesn't matter the age of our children they never really leave us. That's good and yet odd because when they are small we pray fro them to become adults and look after themselves. When they are adults we pray for them to be small because we realise they were no problem at all!!. Worry it never ends, in fact it magnifies because there is only so much they want us to do and only so much they want to share. The one thing we may be able to help is financially and then we are often saying if they don't learn to look after their money they never will. Its a no win situation for parents and child alike!!
Mikey remains ever at the front of our minds, how he would have loved Duke and have roared with laughing at the escapes he is getting into. My strawberry plants disappeared as i was speaking to Tim the grow bag where i had nurtured the plants from seeds, went in a flash and two paws hastily digging. Tim raced out into the garden but alas too late. Mike would I'm sure have made some very witty remark about leaving them out as temptation!
Dukes asleep and I'm going to try and creep into bed. Goodness only knows what will happen when the light goes off!
I will add the holiday diary on tomorrow but i have just about had it!!
Ah well tomorrow is another day!!
Up most of the night with the new addition to the family!!! i eventually got off to sleep at 4 am!!!! Awoken to Tim calling me and this bundle of fur shooting across the floor with my race sock in his mouth! This hastily retrieved by Tim only for Duke to swiftly collect something else! I should have taken that as an omen of the day to come.
Tim informed me that at 5 am he was up with Duke, grabbed my dressing gown to let Duke out when he did, Duke thought it was play time snatched at the belt and virtually disrobed Tim in one swift pull of the belt, leaving Tim exposing himself to all and sundry!! Maybe he will get some clothes on next time!!!
Work has been relentless, the phone hasn't stopped the people wanting to talk with me, care to be planned staff to be contacted the list goes on!!!
Duke to the vets for his jabs and micro chipping. I came home on my bike and didn't get it parked before Tim climbed on to go to town whilst i ate!!! it was something like the pony express!!!
Swimming tonight and then shopping.
Met a lady whose son had died several years ago and offered her condolences about Mikey!! so i blubbed in the shop. Later i met my very dear friend Diana who now has problems herself and if i can help her i will. It doesn't matter the age of our children they never really leave us. That's good and yet odd because when they are small we pray fro them to become adults and look after themselves. When they are adults we pray for them to be small because we realise they were no problem at all!!. Worry it never ends, in fact it magnifies because there is only so much they want us to do and only so much they want to share. The one thing we may be able to help is financially and then we are often saying if they don't learn to look after their money they never will. Its a no win situation for parents and child alike!!
Mikey remains ever at the front of our minds, how he would have loved Duke and have roared with laughing at the escapes he is getting into. My strawberry plants disappeared as i was speaking to Tim the grow bag where i had nurtured the plants from seeds, went in a flash and two paws hastily digging. Tim raced out into the garden but alas too late. Mike would I'm sure have made some very witty remark about leaving them out as temptation!
Dukes asleep and I'm going to try and creep into bed. Goodness only knows what will happen when the light goes off!
I will add the holiday diary on tomorrow but i have just about had it!!
Ah well tomorrow is another day!!
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Day 307/308
So much for blogging every day! Well we picked up our puppy yesterday and boy did he cry when we were a few miles from his home!! missing his mum i think. I did manage to settle him and he travelled all the way without a peep.
It took him a while to settle once home he was so quiet, things changed by the evening. He was full of it. Garden up rooted and following at our heels all the time. A joy.
We had to put him in his pen at night time and then he howled and cried. Tim sat with him. i sat with him and we sat with him! Duke slept then through out the night. What a good little thing he is.
Tim up at 0530 this morning!!! My run day, very nervous. It was hot as well. Left Tim and Duke at home and the run started at 11am! right in the middle of the day. We started off well but by the time we reached 3 miles we were exhausted! Sue had a headache and needed the loo. Finding a bush was hard going. We walked quite a bit really, more than we usually do but we didn't think it was worth messing ourselves up! We were encouraged around the course and could see people very close to us but still thought to keep going bit by bit. We finished the race together and although tired quickly recovered. I put ice pack on my ankle straight away and it has been OK. Next race is in August and I'm sure we will do much better. Its at least 5 miles now each time we run.
I collected my potatoes or should i say Rob did on my behalf!
Home and i found both Tim and Duke fast asleep in the garden, Tim with a sun hat and Duke in the shade, cant be bad!!
Duke continued to be very brave and Tim has tried to wear him out tonight by tying a dish cloth on a piece of string and running around the garden all afternoon. Child gate ordered on the Internet!!! i collect it from Argos on Wednesday, blast lost my order number, it must be here somewhere. Tim said he was proud of me today!! and thinks we have both done really well and its about getting through a race fit and well not about trying to keep up with others. Tim says we will get there eventually, we are just taking time!!
Well i was going to continue with the Holiday diary but i will catch up tomorrow, the past two days have been crammed full of trying to look after the pup and this race. So i am going to bed now, well i think so i have just heard Duke stir so i just may not. Still trying to sort out the pics, i must have the computer man out again.
It took him a while to settle once home he was so quiet, things changed by the evening. He was full of it. Garden up rooted and following at our heels all the time. A joy.
We had to put him in his pen at night time and then he howled and cried. Tim sat with him. i sat with him and we sat with him! Duke slept then through out the night. What a good little thing he is.
Tim up at 0530 this morning!!! My run day, very nervous. It was hot as well. Left Tim and Duke at home and the run started at 11am! right in the middle of the day. We started off well but by the time we reached 3 miles we were exhausted! Sue had a headache and needed the loo. Finding a bush was hard going. We walked quite a bit really, more than we usually do but we didn't think it was worth messing ourselves up! We were encouraged around the course and could see people very close to us but still thought to keep going bit by bit. We finished the race together and although tired quickly recovered. I put ice pack on my ankle straight away and it has been OK. Next race is in August and I'm sure we will do much better. Its at least 5 miles now each time we run.
I collected my potatoes or should i say Rob did on my behalf!
Home and i found both Tim and Duke fast asleep in the garden, Tim with a sun hat and Duke in the shade, cant be bad!!
Duke continued to be very brave and Tim has tried to wear him out tonight by tying a dish cloth on a piece of string and running around the garden all afternoon. Child gate ordered on the Internet!!! i collect it from Argos on Wednesday, blast lost my order number, it must be here somewhere. Tim said he was proud of me today!! and thinks we have both done really well and its about getting through a race fit and well not about trying to keep up with others. Tim says we will get there eventually, we are just taking time!!
Well i was going to continue with the Holiday diary but i will catch up tomorrow, the past two days have been crammed full of trying to look after the pup and this race. So i am going to bed now, well i think so i have just heard Duke stir so i just may not. Still trying to sort out the pics, i must have the computer man out again.
Friday, 1 July 2011
Day 306
Well i did say i was in a muddle with the days!!! so i thought i would put real day at the top and blog the missing days here until i have caught up. The way things are going its going to take a while!!!
Up early this morning! and saw Tim off as he headed to Docaster to help Tom. Boot full of tools, he was not taking any chances in case Tom had forgotten anything.
Headed to work early, amazing really that i got up after yesterdays run! what an evening. I think i was still suffering after Tuesdays 5 mile run. Not that we knew until Thursday how far we had gone. We had another lady run with us and boy could she talk!! Dont know where she got the breath from. Problem was the more she talked the faster i went and was wearing myself out instead of pacing myself. Ah well lesson learned. It was so hot last night i am beginning to wonder how i will cope on Sunday, it talks of being hot again.
The ankle remains swollen and sore and i will rest it after Sunday, i have delayed going for my xray results until afterwards. I did ask the radiographer if it was broken and she said no, i trust their judgement but im not sure what i have done.
August draws ever closer and its with a great deal of sadness that i am remembering this time of the year and the events that happened and also how Mikey was, the constant lung collapses and the hopes of going home for a while to be dashed with anoth lung failure. God he was so incredibly brave and strong, well the face he showed the world and us. No one can cope so well with out inner turmoil. How we wished we knew. Still we cant change the past, i wish we could. Life sadly isnt like an artists sketch where you can rub out mistakes and start again in the attempt to obtain perfection. Its one shot only.
We are picking up an 8 week old German Wirehaired Pointer tomorrow morning. Tim will have so much to think about and another best friend! Thank goodness i kept the rocking chair because he will have a few nights without sleep until the pup settles.
We had a pointer just like him when the boys were small and he lived for 14 years, a wonderful companion. I remember when we went the owner said stand back im going to let them out. 9 puppies bounded out of a bard one knocking Mikey over in his exuberance! he remained like that until we lost him. This pup will grow old with us!! and will keep us active with all the exercise he will need. I will take some pictures and post if i can. Must get this computer fixed properly!!!
Holidays then
DAY 283
Drtmoor today. Another reflective journey. Its been so good to talk about both boys and forget for a while what has happened. Its almost like we still have them both. We really were blessed with our children! Such good memories of happy days.
I digress, Tim thought there was a better way of getting to Dartmoor that our usual route and told me to read the map book and give directions. Big mistake. I actually knew where we were going and was confident in my orientation skills. However Tim thought otherwise!!! When we found ourselves in the depths of the moors with only wild ponies and sheep he became a tad stressed. The roads became single tracked lanes and the air inside the car became very thick! you could cut the tension with a knife! oh lord best keep quiet. A man never trusts a woman to know they are right!! Anyway he was just about to turn around, not sure where because no where to do so when we saw a sign post that said Princetown. Thank goodness!!!
The prison could be seen on the horizon, briefly!! It was disapointing really because they are doing so much work to the prison that it was surrounded by scaffolding and polythene, never mind we had a good walk around until it rained!!! It was miserable up on the moors, it must have been very bleak years ago when it was first built.
We stopped at Badgers Hold on our return. Another place where Mikey fell in the stream from the rocks!!
We spent the evening in Broadsands where Tim had a jog!!! i have the photos.
Still sticking to the diet, what a good person i am! or maybe im becoming obsessed.
Ankle is miserable, lots of ice when i get back to the caravan, but you have to walk dont you?
Day 284
Not so nice again today. Lie in and then to Brixham for lunch.
Walked to Preston, saw the sculpture i liked again and am really tempted. Shop was shut again and no one in. Tim said if i liked it have it. So considering it. Its a fab piece.
Went to the cinema today and watched Xmen the beginning. Really good film and we both enjoyed it.
The ankle had ballooned so i really must rest it if possible, lets hope we have quieter day tomorrow!
Day 285
Teignmouth today it was cold! and we saw black swans swimming in the sea, how unusual. Went back to the caravan early and i went to the launderette and did some washing. Walked to Goodrington in the dark this evening and watched the fireworks again.
Had a call from the art gallery and I'm going to collect the sculpture next week.
Its been a week already and its been lovely.
Tim's in bed and its raining!!!
Day 286
Its raining hard really pouring down. Its the 12th June, 10 months today. The heavens are crying with us. A day of rest i thought. We attempted to get out for lunch but it was so bad we got soaked just walking a few yards, the brolly blew inside out and the wind was fierce. Back to the caravan and there we stayed. Naughty with the diet today!!! but hey ho cant be a saint about things, can i?
The ankle has been better today so the rest has been good for it. No weight bearing at all really in comparison with the past few days. Watched motor cycling the Grand Prix, and it was raining in Canada so that made me feel a bit better. Looks like there may be a prowler about, someone just shone a flash light in the door. Bed for me then!! Its still raining.
Up early this morning! and saw Tim off as he headed to Docaster to help Tom. Boot full of tools, he was not taking any chances in case Tom had forgotten anything.
Headed to work early, amazing really that i got up after yesterdays run! what an evening. I think i was still suffering after Tuesdays 5 mile run. Not that we knew until Thursday how far we had gone. We had another lady run with us and boy could she talk!! Dont know where she got the breath from. Problem was the more she talked the faster i went and was wearing myself out instead of pacing myself. Ah well lesson learned. It was so hot last night i am beginning to wonder how i will cope on Sunday, it talks of being hot again.
The ankle remains swollen and sore and i will rest it after Sunday, i have delayed going for my xray results until afterwards. I did ask the radiographer if it was broken and she said no, i trust their judgement but im not sure what i have done.
August draws ever closer and its with a great deal of sadness that i am remembering this time of the year and the events that happened and also how Mikey was, the constant lung collapses and the hopes of going home for a while to be dashed with anoth lung failure. God he was so incredibly brave and strong, well the face he showed the world and us. No one can cope so well with out inner turmoil. How we wished we knew. Still we cant change the past, i wish we could. Life sadly isnt like an artists sketch where you can rub out mistakes and start again in the attempt to obtain perfection. Its one shot only.
We are picking up an 8 week old German Wirehaired Pointer tomorrow morning. Tim will have so much to think about and another best friend! Thank goodness i kept the rocking chair because he will have a few nights without sleep until the pup settles.
We had a pointer just like him when the boys were small and he lived for 14 years, a wonderful companion. I remember when we went the owner said stand back im going to let them out. 9 puppies bounded out of a bard one knocking Mikey over in his exuberance! he remained like that until we lost him. This pup will grow old with us!! and will keep us active with all the exercise he will need. I will take some pictures and post if i can. Must get this computer fixed properly!!!
Holidays then
DAY 283
Drtmoor today. Another reflective journey. Its been so good to talk about both boys and forget for a while what has happened. Its almost like we still have them both. We really were blessed with our children! Such good memories of happy days.
I digress, Tim thought there was a better way of getting to Dartmoor that our usual route and told me to read the map book and give directions. Big mistake. I actually knew where we were going and was confident in my orientation skills. However Tim thought otherwise!!! When we found ourselves in the depths of the moors with only wild ponies and sheep he became a tad stressed. The roads became single tracked lanes and the air inside the car became very thick! you could cut the tension with a knife! oh lord best keep quiet. A man never trusts a woman to know they are right!! Anyway he was just about to turn around, not sure where because no where to do so when we saw a sign post that said Princetown. Thank goodness!!!
The prison could be seen on the horizon, briefly!! It was disapointing really because they are doing so much work to the prison that it was surrounded by scaffolding and polythene, never mind we had a good walk around until it rained!!! It was miserable up on the moors, it must have been very bleak years ago when it was first built.
We stopped at Badgers Hold on our return. Another place where Mikey fell in the stream from the rocks!!
We spent the evening in Broadsands where Tim had a jog!!! i have the photos.
Still sticking to the diet, what a good person i am! or maybe im becoming obsessed.
Ankle is miserable, lots of ice when i get back to the caravan, but you have to walk dont you?
Day 284
Not so nice again today. Lie in and then to Brixham for lunch.
Walked to Preston, saw the sculpture i liked again and am really tempted. Shop was shut again and no one in. Tim said if i liked it have it. So considering it. Its a fab piece.
Went to the cinema today and watched Xmen the beginning. Really good film and we both enjoyed it.
The ankle had ballooned so i really must rest it if possible, lets hope we have quieter day tomorrow!
Day 285
Teignmouth today it was cold! and we saw black swans swimming in the sea, how unusual. Went back to the caravan early and i went to the launderette and did some washing. Walked to Goodrington in the dark this evening and watched the fireworks again.
Had a call from the art gallery and I'm going to collect the sculpture next week.
Its been a week already and its been lovely.
Tim's in bed and its raining!!!
Day 286
Its raining hard really pouring down. Its the 12th June, 10 months today. The heavens are crying with us. A day of rest i thought. We attempted to get out for lunch but it was so bad we got soaked just walking a few yards, the brolly blew inside out and the wind was fierce. Back to the caravan and there we stayed. Naughty with the diet today!!! but hey ho cant be a saint about things, can i?
The ankle has been better today so the rest has been good for it. No weight bearing at all really in comparison with the past few days. Watched motor cycling the Grand Prix, and it was raining in Canada so that made me feel a bit better. Looks like there may be a prowler about, someone just shone a flash light in the door. Bed for me then!! Its still raining.
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Day 282
Good Gracious i cant work out how to blog this and keep the dates in order. I think i will just write and put days on when i finish tonight and go from there!
Still having problems with the computer and it takes ages to find a way in!!! Must get the computer man back out.
I hope to catch up by the end of the week because i have some news! I do hope it will make Tim feel a bit better, lets hope so.
Anyway to continue with the holidays.
Day 282. Went to Dartmouth today and what a fab day it was.
Tom phoned this morning and chatted for ages. Lovely. Attempting to put up a fence and wanted some help. Tim happily obliged. Its good that Tom is trying to fill his days off doing something productive, he will then be able to say he has done something with his days off. It will also give him a sense of acheivment. Goodness only knows i can remember when we first attempted tp put wallpaper up! its all about experience!!
It began to rain but we headed off to,the ferry for our crossing, by the time we reached Dartmouth the sun was out. This time we were detirmined to find the castle. Each time we come we say will visit it but never do!
Another water trip! this time in a little boat. Lovely crossing and took loads of photos.
Quite a trek up from the landing to the castle. We sat out and had coffee and breakfast!! We spent considerable time exploring and climbing!!! didnt like the narrow spiral steps up to the top of the castle, still up i went, always willing to experience new things, gulp!!! coming down was worse!!!! needed the time to sit just to get my breath back!!! not because i was tired but it was through sheer terror!
To get a boat back you just turned over a board on the jetty and someone would fetch you. Tim told me to go ahead and turn the board whilst he went of to find the loo. The boat came and no Tim!!!! so we waited, imagine the look on his face when another person said 'and we thought it was women who kept everyone waiting!!'
Caught the car ferry back, yes thats because there was such a long queue for the passenger ferry. Steam train was in at Dartmouth so i got some glorious pics of the engine as it passed under the foot bridge i was on. Im going to make an album, trains boats and no planes!!!
Ankle was throbbing by now and Tim wanted to take me to casualty. Not so likely i will suffer first anyway no running today! Hopefully a less strenuous day tomorrow.
Well i better call it a day for now, its 0215 in the morning and work will soon be upon me!! I will try to catch up tomorrow after my run. Its been lovely weather, Mikey loved the sun, we do so miss him still and i dont think that will ever change. I find myself quite weepy again these days. Time is getting close to a year since we lost him, its just so damn hard! we live a pretence, a face to the world, a face to family, a face to friends, our true face shows only in the middle of the night when the rest of the world is sleeping, it is some times so damn lonely and at these times you wonder why its worth bothering with living anymore.Morning comes and you put on the face that suits the occasion, we continue on the wheel of life.
Still having problems with the computer and it takes ages to find a way in!!! Must get the computer man back out.
I hope to catch up by the end of the week because i have some news! I do hope it will make Tim feel a bit better, lets hope so.
Anyway to continue with the holidays.
Day 282. Went to Dartmouth today and what a fab day it was.
Tom phoned this morning and chatted for ages. Lovely. Attempting to put up a fence and wanted some help. Tim happily obliged. Its good that Tom is trying to fill his days off doing something productive, he will then be able to say he has done something with his days off. It will also give him a sense of acheivment. Goodness only knows i can remember when we first attempted tp put wallpaper up! its all about experience!!
It began to rain but we headed off to,the ferry for our crossing, by the time we reached Dartmouth the sun was out. This time we were detirmined to find the castle. Each time we come we say will visit it but never do!
Another water trip! this time in a little boat. Lovely crossing and took loads of photos.
Quite a trek up from the landing to the castle. We sat out and had coffee and breakfast!! We spent considerable time exploring and climbing!!! didnt like the narrow spiral steps up to the top of the castle, still up i went, always willing to experience new things, gulp!!! coming down was worse!!!! needed the time to sit just to get my breath back!!! not because i was tired but it was through sheer terror!
To get a boat back you just turned over a board on the jetty and someone would fetch you. Tim told me to go ahead and turn the board whilst he went of to find the loo. The boat came and no Tim!!!! so we waited, imagine the look on his face when another person said 'and we thought it was women who kept everyone waiting!!'
Caught the car ferry back, yes thats because there was such a long queue for the passenger ferry. Steam train was in at Dartmouth so i got some glorious pics of the engine as it passed under the foot bridge i was on. Im going to make an album, trains boats and no planes!!!
Ankle was throbbing by now and Tim wanted to take me to casualty. Not so likely i will suffer first anyway no running today! Hopefully a less strenuous day tomorrow.
Well i better call it a day for now, its 0215 in the morning and work will soon be upon me!! I will try to catch up tomorrow after my run. Its been lovely weather, Mikey loved the sun, we do so miss him still and i dont think that will ever change. I find myself quite weepy again these days. Time is getting close to a year since we lost him, its just so damn hard! we live a pretence, a face to the world, a face to family, a face to friends, our true face shows only in the middle of the night when the rest of the world is sleeping, it is some times so damn lonely and at these times you wonder why its worth bothering with living anymore.Morning comes and you put on the face that suits the occasion, we continue on the wheel of life.
Monday, 27 June 2011
Day 278-302
I'm back!!!!
What a time it has been, first the holiday and then a virus on the computer when i returned. That was sorted and then another so i will make the most of tonight just in case i cannot get on for a while.
How i have missed my nightly chats to myself. I did keep a diary of when i was away and i will give brief daily account, just so i have a record and can read back if i feel like it in the future.
Well i did say i wasn't really looking forward to the holiday, it did however do us good. We found ourselves for a while, and that was good.
A complete rest from work!!
Day 278. I was up and ready before Tim got up and that surprised him, a good start to the day.We left home at 0430hrs! early but Tim wanted to miss the traffic. The sun was just rising and it wasn't dark, the colours of the sky was just amazing all soft misty yellows, orange and greys. The clouds looked just as if an artist had slashed the sky with grey paint using a fine brush. Two planes came up from the horizon just where the sun was coming up and they resembled silvery gold moving ribbons. I wondered who was on board and where they were going. As the sun warmed the earth, mist rose up and the wind turbines in the fields ghostly mythical creatures looming over the landscape. How good is the morning and i slept.
We arrived in Torquay and it was hot! the boats in the harbour looked grand, a lovely start to our break.
We walked around the harbour and had breakfast, then i shopped whilst Tim soaked up the atmosphere!
Ankle really swollen and painful so we rested and found our accommodation, unpacked and then sat outside the caravan with my feet up.
Evening in Brixham more walking and an evening meal whilst listening to live music. Manged to find some disposable ice packs. Tim had an early night and i watched the fireworks over the bay and for me an early night. Midnight. Kept to my diet!!!!
Day 279 Babbacombe Wonderful Sunday lunch at Babbacombe Arms. Paignton and walked miles. Watched a gentleman making a sand sculpture of a dolphin. Not sunny today but at least it was dry. We did do a lot of reminiscing about previous holidays when the boys were small. Watched steam train come into the station and we talked about i used to test Tim on all the brakes and wheels etc when he was learning to be an examiner of freight trains. Tom was a baby then and we would usually study whilst i was bathing Tom. I became quite knowledgeable!!
Went to the cinema a collected a time table, will get a film in some time this holiday!
Tim scuffed the valance of the car! thank the lord it wasn't me.
Got results of the times of our run! i did it in 40.16 seconds. Ah well at least i finished.
A walk round Torquay in the evening and saw a man stopped by the police, out came the blue gloves and he was arrested for possesion of drugs!! Handcuffs the works! of course we were looking and the chap waved at us so being friendly i waved back. Oops not the right thing to do. We didn't know him from Adam of course so we then beat a hasty retreat. Did the cliff walk and amazingly my legs didn't ache so i guess the exercise has been helpful. No plans for the week just get up and see how we feel.
Day 280. A lie in!! Walk to Preston and Paignton really long walk and we had to stop for coffee! We walked for 2 hours without stopping after all. Overcast today but still dry. Back to Babbacombe for lunch. We walked beside the cliffs and watched a hawk being attacked by Crowes. A few hours sitting in the gardens with a book!! More walking and returned to the van after 8 hours. Another walk in the evening!!! and we talked and talked about the boys and how Tom would be walking along the beach studying the rock pools, seeing what creatures were inside and checking how deep the water was. Mikey would just head straight out into the water! That seemed a pattern, where ever we went Mikey would either fall in or need a change of clothes or shoes. We eventually bought those jelly shoes for them from Oddocombe beach after another wetting!! blue ones i remember them well. It talks of showers tomorrow but we will have to wait and see. They never seem to get the weather right when predicting! I bought book light yesterday so not to disturb Tim at night but i used it to guide Tim around the bedroom when he got up to find the door. So funny. We want to go to Cornwall one day of our hols but its the Royal Cornwall show so traffic may be heavy for a few days so we will wait until its over. Taking lots of photos, what a joy that has been. Well its cold tonight so i can feel a heated bean bag coming on!!
Day 281 Shaldon today. It rained! we saw a lovely beach apartment for sale and was sorely tempted.
This afternoon we went to Brixham to sit around the harbour after walking to the lighthouse!!!
Tim dropped me off at Goodrington beach, i changed into running kit and he left me to run back to the site!! lovely running beside the sea. Going up the damn hills was a nightmare though! Result one very swollen ankle! and painful. No more walking tonight!
More tomorrow, i have writers cramp. But we have a very happy event coming up which i will put here after my holiday account. Pictures to when i can retrieve the lost info since the virus!!
What a time it has been, first the holiday and then a virus on the computer when i returned. That was sorted and then another so i will make the most of tonight just in case i cannot get on for a while.
How i have missed my nightly chats to myself. I did keep a diary of when i was away and i will give brief daily account, just so i have a record and can read back if i feel like it in the future.
Well i did say i wasn't really looking forward to the holiday, it did however do us good. We found ourselves for a while, and that was good.
A complete rest from work!!
Day 278. I was up and ready before Tim got up and that surprised him, a good start to the day.We left home at 0430hrs! early but Tim wanted to miss the traffic. The sun was just rising and it wasn't dark, the colours of the sky was just amazing all soft misty yellows, orange and greys. The clouds looked just as if an artist had slashed the sky with grey paint using a fine brush. Two planes came up from the horizon just where the sun was coming up and they resembled silvery gold moving ribbons. I wondered who was on board and where they were going. As the sun warmed the earth, mist rose up and the wind turbines in the fields ghostly mythical creatures looming over the landscape. How good is the morning and i slept.
We arrived in Torquay and it was hot! the boats in the harbour looked grand, a lovely start to our break.
We walked around the harbour and had breakfast, then i shopped whilst Tim soaked up the atmosphere!
Ankle really swollen and painful so we rested and found our accommodation, unpacked and then sat outside the caravan with my feet up.
Evening in Brixham more walking and an evening meal whilst listening to live music. Manged to find some disposable ice packs. Tim had an early night and i watched the fireworks over the bay and for me an early night. Midnight. Kept to my diet!!!!
Day 279 Babbacombe Wonderful Sunday lunch at Babbacombe Arms. Paignton and walked miles. Watched a gentleman making a sand sculpture of a dolphin. Not sunny today but at least it was dry. We did do a lot of reminiscing about previous holidays when the boys were small. Watched steam train come into the station and we talked about i used to test Tim on all the brakes and wheels etc when he was learning to be an examiner of freight trains. Tom was a baby then and we would usually study whilst i was bathing Tom. I became quite knowledgeable!!
Went to the cinema a collected a time table, will get a film in some time this holiday!
Tim scuffed the valance of the car! thank the lord it wasn't me.
Got results of the times of our run! i did it in 40.16 seconds. Ah well at least i finished.
A walk round Torquay in the evening and saw a man stopped by the police, out came the blue gloves and he was arrested for possesion of drugs!! Handcuffs the works! of course we were looking and the chap waved at us so being friendly i waved back. Oops not the right thing to do. We didn't know him from Adam of course so we then beat a hasty retreat. Did the cliff walk and amazingly my legs didn't ache so i guess the exercise has been helpful. No plans for the week just get up and see how we feel.
Day 280. A lie in!! Walk to Preston and Paignton really long walk and we had to stop for coffee! We walked for 2 hours without stopping after all. Overcast today but still dry. Back to Babbacombe for lunch. We walked beside the cliffs and watched a hawk being attacked by Crowes. A few hours sitting in the gardens with a book!! More walking and returned to the van after 8 hours. Another walk in the evening!!! and we talked and talked about the boys and how Tom would be walking along the beach studying the rock pools, seeing what creatures were inside and checking how deep the water was. Mikey would just head straight out into the water! That seemed a pattern, where ever we went Mikey would either fall in or need a change of clothes or shoes. We eventually bought those jelly shoes for them from Oddocombe beach after another wetting!! blue ones i remember them well. It talks of showers tomorrow but we will have to wait and see. They never seem to get the weather right when predicting! I bought book light yesterday so not to disturb Tim at night but i used it to guide Tim around the bedroom when he got up to find the door. So funny. We want to go to Cornwall one day of our hols but its the Royal Cornwall show so traffic may be heavy for a few days so we will wait until its over. Taking lots of photos, what a joy that has been. Well its cold tonight so i can feel a heated bean bag coming on!!
Day 281 Shaldon today. It rained! we saw a lovely beach apartment for sale and was sorely tempted.
This afternoon we went to Brixham to sit around the harbour after walking to the lighthouse!!!
Tim dropped me off at Goodrington beach, i changed into running kit and he left me to run back to the site!! lovely running beside the sea. Going up the damn hills was a nightmare though! Result one very swollen ankle! and painful. No more walking tonight!
More tomorrow, i have writers cramp. But we have a very happy event coming up which i will put here after my holiday account. Pictures to when i can retrieve the lost info since the virus!!
Friday, 3 June 2011
Day 275/276/277
Well we are off on our holidays in a couple of hours. I'm not sure how i feel about it really. I do know i am in desperate need of a break, so we will see.
I have spent the past few days just weeping at every little thing. I feel so incredibly sad and cant get out of this dark place. It would appear misery has found me yet again and doesn't she just know how to chose her moments. Mikey is in the forefront of my thoughts all the time and i miss him!
I do have so much to be thankful for, a good husband and another lovely son, but it just doesn't seem enough. How selfish am i.
Yesterday was without doubt one of the most miserable days i have had at work. I know i cant cope with another like that. It wasn't the work but the people! Myself included.
It was hot in the office no air and that didn't help. I was doing my first 5k run and wasn't in the mood. I thought i may get off early and ice the ankle before i went but that didn't work out.
Tim and Tom wished me luck and gave those knowing looks.
So the race well i got my first number i was 78! Sue bought us all an energy tube! Lord then we were told the route. Oops we hadn't planned on that, rather longer than we thought and over grass.
Started off well but it was so very hot, breathing was OK but my legs ached quite soon into the run. Not usual for me. I told Sue to run on and leave me as i was slower than she was tonight. It was a race after all.
I was last!!!! but everyone was really kind, its no fun running alone and i was feeling like giving up. Along the path in front of me came two walkers. Its a lovely spot to walk and lots of people walk their dogs along the same route. Anyway as they got closer it was my very dear friend Diana and her husband calling out support, so i got a hug on the run and an offer to come with me! how about that. I kept going and was on the home straight when Keith one of the club runners came back to pace me!! that really helped . So i finished and felt like ......... Apparently i did the course at 12 min a mile. So a lot of improvement needed!!!
Lots of practice needed on holiday.
Home and then a night shift to get up to date with some reports. The damn computer kept crashing and found it almost impossible to get them done. I attempted other work and cleared a back log but not what i wanted to do. I wonder if it will still be there on my return.
So I'm going to sign off now and before i know it i will be sitting here again and the holiday will be over. What is that saying, today is the tomorrow i was dreading yesterday.................... Tomorrow is another day!
I have spent the past few days just weeping at every little thing. I feel so incredibly sad and cant get out of this dark place. It would appear misery has found me yet again and doesn't she just know how to chose her moments. Mikey is in the forefront of my thoughts all the time and i miss him!
I do have so much to be thankful for, a good husband and another lovely son, but it just doesn't seem enough. How selfish am i.
Yesterday was without doubt one of the most miserable days i have had at work. I know i cant cope with another like that. It wasn't the work but the people! Myself included.
It was hot in the office no air and that didn't help. I was doing my first 5k run and wasn't in the mood. I thought i may get off early and ice the ankle before i went but that didn't work out.
Tim and Tom wished me luck and gave those knowing looks.
So the race well i got my first number i was 78! Sue bought us all an energy tube! Lord then we were told the route. Oops we hadn't planned on that, rather longer than we thought and over grass.
Started off well but it was so very hot, breathing was OK but my legs ached quite soon into the run. Not usual for me. I told Sue to run on and leave me as i was slower than she was tonight. It was a race after all.
I was last!!!! but everyone was really kind, its no fun running alone and i was feeling like giving up. Along the path in front of me came two walkers. Its a lovely spot to walk and lots of people walk their dogs along the same route. Anyway as they got closer it was my very dear friend Diana and her husband calling out support, so i got a hug on the run and an offer to come with me! how about that. I kept going and was on the home straight when Keith one of the club runners came back to pace me!! that really helped . So i finished and felt like ......... Apparently i did the course at 12 min a mile. So a lot of improvement needed!!!
Lots of practice needed on holiday.
Home and then a night shift to get up to date with some reports. The damn computer kept crashing and found it almost impossible to get them done. I attempted other work and cleared a back log but not what i wanted to do. I wonder if it will still be there on my return.
So I'm going to sign off now and before i know it i will be sitting here again and the holiday will be over. What is that saying, today is the tomorrow i was dreading yesterday.................... Tomorrow is another day!
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