Day 249

6th May 2011..... Mikeys birthday.

It seems strange that 26 years ago Mikey came into the world. We had such dreams and no thought of the  devastation to come.

So today Mikey you are not here and it seems so very odd. We have tried to celebrate your life today. We visited all the places along the coast that we took you and Tom as children. Indeed to Sherringham, the last place we bought you shortly before you died. It was just after your birthday last year.
How life for us has changed in those short 9 months. These thoughts should not be for today though, they can be later when we will mourn your passing.

We always had such good weather on your birthdays, parties in the garden or at the pool. Such laughter and happiness, good times. Today the sun has been out and it has been glorious.

You will be pleased that people have not forgotten you Mikey so many kind thoughts and messages in remembrance of your birthday.

Do i need to write how i have felt today, i wonder. Yesterday was miserable but today, a  day of mixed emotions. Thoughtful and pensive, sad and angry, happy and blessed. Keeping busy is always a good thing!
Tom rang today and that was so thoughtful. I know he realises how much we miss you and we are so very glad to still have Tom. What would we have done if you had been our only child i wonder.

The news tonight was about little Maddie Mcgan, how dreadful for her parents not knowing what has happened to their child, i can only imagine their grief. We at least know about ours. In that way we do have that peace.

Thank goodness we keep a candle burning for you Mikey because i tried to send a lantern for you and almost set next doors dog a light with it. It didn't fill with enough air before i let it go, (it was getting hot) and it scuttled across the garden landing in the fence next to their dog pen!! I managed to get hold of it, and by now it was on fire! i prodded it with the gas lighter! oops that was another mistake so ended up treading on it to put out the flames!! that's the soles of my shoes gone!. Dad was not amused as you can well imagine and went into the house leaving me to fire fight!!! asking why i couldn't have done it earlier. Well he was watching Predator one of you favourite films!! i ask you, no patience!! The dog who usually barks as soon as we turn our door key was silent. I wonder if he is in shock? um. Ah well i suppose we will find out if he starts barking again. So far hes still quiet!

I remain as useless as ever!

I am not going to say too much tonight Mikey but thank you for sharing Maddie with us, i understand why you loved her so much. Her sense of humour is second to none! i so enjoy her posts, they do make me smile, and her kindness and thoughtfulness Mikey even though she is busy she remembers us. She is as you said, special.

Though losing you i have made other friends of yours and feel that part of our CF lives continue.

I have stepped up a gear with my running, although Dad still doesn't think I'm doing enough!, he wants to take me out on a quiet road, drop me off and drive up the road for half a mile and make me run, then do the same again! Can you imagine it, me running after him and him never letting me get back in the car!! yep i can imagine that happening. So i will avoid that situation for as long as possible!!!!

So your birthday has been and now gone and i am still sitting her as usual, nothing has changed!

Ah well tomorrow is another day.....................