What can i say, the events of last night took me my surprise as much as anyone!! Nothing earth shattering except i ended up asleep at 9pm and sloped off to bed at 10pm and slept until rudely awoken at 4 am by Duke!!! Hence no blog last night.
So yesterday, i was tired for most of the day, just weary but managed to finish work early!!!! Felt a bit better and went for my run. So pleased i went, Sue and i actually ran faster than we ever have, despite the cough!!! and ran for 4.6.miles Not bad all things considered, but my feet were so painful when i got home. Shock to the system i expect!! still we are hopeful that Thursday we will do as well and the weather not too hot for us. Sues off on her holidays for two weeks so i will miss my partner, but i will continue to go and hope to improve a bit for when she gets back!!
Then i slept!! But had no time for thoughts of any kind, so may have been natures way of giving me a little respite.
Today however was another day!!! I always find these days giving support to grieving families difficult and today was no exception. But we manage, its a day where i just put on another face and kept my own emotions in check. So very hard to do. Control, i guess! never thought i was a person who had very much. Amazing what you can do if you have to.
Duke remains a little gem. He bounds and launches himself at me when i come in from work. Tim is so pleased to have him and really looking forward to the day he can take him out!!He is growing at a rapid rate!!
Apparently today whilst Tim was on the phone he came into the kitchen looking very pleased with himself with one of my plants in his mouth, not just the bright orange bloom but leaves and roots still attached!! no hope for that then! My garden is slowly being stripped of all the plants i put in a little while ago, thank goodness we protected Mikeys area and all the plants intact. I would be really upset if the plant we put in last year after Mikey passed away was to be spoilt. A bigger fence will soon be erected me thinks!!!
Swimming tonight! and i enjoyed it. The water was nice and warm and the pool empty lovely!! Sat and watched a film with Tim tonight! we don't have that much time together in the week now so i will try to make the most of it when we can.
I think i have got over that miserable person i was a few days ago, goodness knows how long this good period will last, its so draining when you are low in mood and a real effort to drag yourself out of it and to become at least half human. Is that how i am going to be for the foreseeable future. I hope not.
There still seems to be so little support for us parents of young adults maybe i will try and start a help group. America seems to do so much better at these things than we do, we should take a leaf out of their book.
I continue to struggle on Tuesdays and Thursdays and maybe that's why i get so much out of running on these days.
My friends have been fab! and have been so tolerant, not questioning, just accepting things as they are and understanding I'm having a bad day. How can you put a value on such as these. Words just do not seem adequate and thank yous are always thought about long after the bad day. But i do thank the heavens for them.
I'm not sure if they have put something in my coffee but i feel quite chilled today!!! and am going to close tonight feeling pretty OK and that's new. I don't feel as if I'm on this merry go round and my head seems to be still, calm and in the place it should be. Its really hard to explain but usually i have so many things going on in my mind its as if there is no more available space and i have no time to do any of the things I'm thinking about. Tonight its as if i have nothing to do. All my jobs are done and i am this wonderful well organised person with all the time in the world. Wonderful! However, tomorrow is another day!!!
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