I feel so ashamed that i am letting trivial things overwhelm me! I just cant see the wood for the trees. What is important is family and yet i just keep putting them to the back of my thoughts and yet at the same time Mikey and Tom are at the forefront. How odd and twisted is that.
I do sometimes wonder if i am going slightly mad. In the words of Queen I'm only knitting on one needle!
My mind is in such turmoil that i struggle to concentrate and just wish i could go off to sleep and wake in September. Does that make me weak and a coward, not really wanting to face the days ahead. I don't know. Writing does make it real. But i do pray for escape from the thoughts and pictures that are constantly creeping up on me unawares, my heart races and i struggle just to be normal.
The faces i show to the world have become muddled to the state where i don't really know if the face I'm showing matches the person i am supposed to be. Mad!!!!
Grief, such a small word with such huge consequences. Ah well..........
So whats happened over the past few days. This wretched cough that will not go away meant another trip to the Dr's and i had to cave in and have some steroids! I eventually got to the Dr's on Thursday. Time just not enough of it, and yet too much to think on the other! Told you, twisted!
Didn't get to run on Thursday, still at work till 8pm again and then back at 10.30pm until 12! not good at all.
Poor Tim is beginning to feel so alone! thank goodness for Duke who really does keep him occupied. Tim did say a funny thing yesterday. He said if anything happened to him would i keep the dog. Now how odd is that!!! Just not worth thinking about, but i did take Tim's blood pressure, not that that would solve anything but made me feel a bit better!!!
Duke continues to grow and he really is such a good dog. But how on earth he manages to get up onto the dining chairs when they are under the table and lay there at meal times i do not understand! its as if he wants to sit up the table with us! put a knife and fork in his paws and dinner please!
Mikey's room has certainly become a target and removing him proves to be difficult! how on earth a 12 week old pup can dig his heels in and grab Mikey's covers on his bed once positioned on the same amazes us. Tonight he ran in grabbed the bedside mat in his jaws and moved it a few inches to the right, let go and smugly sat plum in the middle of it still beggars belief! He is such a character.
I went to Norwich for the day with my sisters and had a really nice day. We do not seem to be able to go out together without a mishap though. We should have met our cousin Angela today but sadly a bad back resulted in her not meeting us although we were all disappointed.
We got lost in Norwich and walked miles out of our way until we found the shops!!! cursing the taxi driver who said it wasn't worth his while taking us from the station to the shops as it was only a very short walk away!!! Only to discover later he was correct just that we failed to follow his directions.
Joy is looking really slim, weight watchers is working, Linda has lost a stone as well and Jen bless her has given up. Got to the centre and discovered some fab shops!!! did some retail therapy, lunch and decided to see the Cathedral before coming home.
Walked a long way and constantly worried about Linda and her dodgy knee. Jen need ed to use the public facilities and we all though we may as well make the most of them!!! big mistake. Dare i write what happened, yes i will because at some time in years to come i may want to remember today and read my blog!
Once the stairs were negotiated we entered a grim area with a few toilets! Jen found an empty one and so did i. Well doing what comes naturally the air was suddenly rent with a piercing scream!!! Jen!! followed by Joy screeching and then saying oh you frightened me and I'm not sure if i can wait now. I on the other hand jumped 3 foot in the air, trousers dropped to the very wet floor and ended up with soaked trousers. I came out to find two hysterical sisters, joy had attempted to enter Jens space only to find out Jen hadn't locked the door. Jen hadn't been able to lock it and thought Joy was an intruder!! I on the other hand said look what you made me do, which added to the hysterics, Linda bless her had waited at the top of the stairs only to be accosted by a man in a purple three wheeler who asked her if she was Clive Robinson!! I then stripped of in the public loos to wash and dry my trousers under the hand drier. Joy washed her hands, looked at me me and i said , no chance, which started her off again. Jen eventually offered me the use of her new size 16 lounge pants, bearing in mind she is also about 6 inches taller than me and I'm a size 10!!! I think she was shocked to think her sister was standing in a public place undressed in just skimpy underwear and a sweat shirt!!! a pair of socks and trainers. Thinking about it now, i must have looked a sight! and should have been arrested! Joy had popped up to see if Lin was OK and came down again as Jen was drying my trousers and i was standing there looking like goodness knows what, Joy later said that when she looked at me thought Gracious does she know those trousers are a bit on the big side. Luckily my own trousers were a thin cotton and did dry quite quickly.
Went to the Cathedral and i glanced at my watch and we were running late for our train, so we didn't really get a look in, only our noses through the door and there was a wedding practice going on, apparently the bishops daughter is getting married tomorrow!
Train journey was a nightmare from Norwich to Ely, poor children running amok only for one of them to have her finger slammed in a door by her sister and the poor mites finger looked broken!! and nasty slice through. Offered the mother a sterile finger dressing which Joy was carrying in her bag, cant imagine why except that you never know when it may come in handy!!! Jen tells the elder girl off for being so mean, oops i thought, time to get off the train pretty damn quick, no one likes an interfering Ena!!!
We all went in different directions once we hit Ely and i arrived home exhausted at 7.30pm!
I can only say, tomorrow is another day..........
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