Oh boy it was hard getting out of bed this morning. Didn't get much sleep because of this wretched knee.
Went to the Docs and i have either grazed my cartilage or torn it, he will know in 4 weeks!!! how come, well if its better then its a graze if not he will send me to have telescope in to have a look around!! in the mean time physio may help, luckily going on Saturday Came out with script for antibiotics, anti inflammatory and tablet for osteoporosis!! I feel on top of the world! if i was a horse i would be shot.
Cancelled athletics for one week and hope i will be able to at least do some walking. Will try swimming tomorrow.
I honestly believe that having something really positive to work towards is making it easier for me to get through the days. Its late at night now when i have more time to think about things. How Mikey must have felt during the night i will never know i can only imagine the horrors the mind would play on him. Isn't it enough that CF takes the physical side of their lives without adding so much emotional turmoil. Are those with CF so strong to cope with all of this. What an incredibly brave group of young adults. They truly are amazing. The sad thing is we cant make it better, we cant take away their pains, so what can we do? I suppose its to make their lives mean something so that their passing has some value and that we can ensure that their legacy to life is remembered and celebrated. I do hope that is what i will achieve for him over the coming months.
I was asked today how many children i had, i replied two. This then led to the usual questions how old what are they doing etc etc. I then had to say well i only have one that's living but i feel that i still have two sons. That wont change will it? Time will tell i expect.
I hope overnight some miracle will occur, i know i wont get Mikey back but hope the knee will be resolved i will feel as fit as a butchers dog and all will be well with the world. Not going to happen is it? still tomorrow is another day.................................
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