Day 137

My birthday, its the end of the day now and its been eventful to say the least.

No card from Mikey but Tom bless him not only left me a message on facebook and sent an e card!!! but phoned me today as well. That meant so much to me.
 Friends what would we do without them. They are there when you need them, they remember you, they hold you up when you feel like sinking, they keep me afloat.

Tim bought me two diamond charms for my bracelet, how thoughtful and a surprise too.

My knee has really got me down today. I feel so incredibly old and stupid. I do so want to do the marathon and yet i fell at the first hurdle. But I'm determined, its not going to get the better of me! but i am so frustrated.

This afternoon i got down on  the floor of my office upstairs and couldn't get up!. My back went into spasm and there i was like a new born infant, helpless. I phoned for some help, and no reply!!! 10 Min's and it felt like eternity. It was so embarrassing to have someone find you in such a state and then be helped up.
Sharon and Bev, life savers! never criticised just offered comfort and help, still i felt so incredibly foolish.

Misery has again found me, enveloping me in her cloak, she laughs with glee to yet again hold me captive in her embrace. How i fought her today and the struggle was almost lost it has been so hard to keep positive today. I would crawl into a hole but! i just dare not get down on all fours for fear of not standing again!!

So i am sitting here yet again trying to make sense of things and trying to grasp the concept that everything happens for a reason. I still have no answers.

I thank the very special person who bought me a book as a  gift today. Its called Chicken Soup for the grieving soul. It has been a comfort and also sad so i can only read bits at a time but i found this quote 
 they are not the stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy ( inspired by eskimo legend)

So with that thought in mind i will remember to reach for the skies and double by efforts and keep in mind  that tomorrow is another day.........................