Day 167

And today was another day................

It was strange today so calm, Tim was quiet this morning but seemed OK. Work, well i don't think anyone knew what to expect but again it seemed calm there to. I wonder why!
My boss came today and i asked for a supervision!! much needed and helped put things in perspective re work anyway, she is really good at listening.

The weather was odd too, as if not quite knowing whether to rain, sun shine or be just dull. It decide to mix the lot which also seemed to reflect my feelings and tonight some fog just to finish the day off. The fens how i love their changes, never really knowing what its going to do from day to day. A bit like us it will then have periods of gloom and periods of bright cheerful clean fresh days. Ah its a wonderful place to be.

i think today was also a day where i decided enough was enough, i must take myself in hand. Mikey said that we could have a period to grieve, he knew it would be hard for us. We spoke about this in the summer, he must have known that he was really poorly. We said we couldn't help but be sad when anything happened to him, if it did. We were all still very positive about him getting a transplant. He said OK but just for a little while but i want you to carry on not just mope. In reality it isn't that easy and as much as you want to do what he wanted its an impossibility, at least right now.
I cant begin to describe just how much we miss him, not just in the physical sense. We know we cant bring him back. Tim's way off coping was to think of Mikey as being asleep but i now think Tim cant think that way any more and its hard for him. They were so very, very close.

I rarely get to talk to Tom if the phone goes, Tim will chat for ages and then hang up before i get to talk to Tom, that has to change!! but its good foro Tim to have someone else to talk to. Its a dilemma!

A woman was attacked in town on the main street! at 8pm in the evening whilst out running!! Cant believe something like that can happen in our town! what is the world coming to. It has put me off a bit because that was my time so i really am going to try and get some early nights and head out early morning before work and whilst its light.

Tim wants me to go back to the athletics club but i want to wait until I'm really fit again. Physio this Thursday and the fingers crossed will be told all is well. At the moment i have coped with Roger and will try at the week end to get out on the road again!!

At this very moment i am feeling positive again, but tomorrow is another day..................