Day 105

Its been a mellow day today!!! I have been so relaxed i have been almost horizontal!!!

Work has been good and i have spent most of the day communicating with those i work closely with, that has made me feel good. Re establishing relationships.

Popped out to do assessment and saw Tim walking and i couldn't resist pipping the horn at him, felt like a young girl for a few minutes!!!

A day and evening reflecting on the past, enjoying talking to Tim about the boys when they were younger and how they both loved Orm and Cheep and we laughed as we remembered Trapdoor one of the cartoon videos they would watch time and time again. It made us smile no tears!!!

A call from the surgery telling me i need to go for some more tests didn't faze me at all. I wonder why. Maybe because the worst thing has happened to us and everything else is just something to deal with. No biggie!!
Tim is more concerned than me. I just wonder if its a mistake. I hate having my bloods done though, coward that i am.
When you consider all Mikey went through i feel rather pathetic!!! Mike would be worrying and then discussing it with his friend, coming back with all this information. Mike just liked to know everything. Then he would be phoning asking if all was well. Thinking and caring about us and himself last. Mikey had this capacity for putting others before himself and i wonder why when there are so many wicked people in the world Mikey had to be taken. The world is a sadder place without him in it.

I wonder what he would think if he could see us now? I just wish we could still talk to him or see his beautiful smile. That sideways look he sometimes gave you or the shake of his head if you say something not quite right and just say Mother!
Or the way he would look me up and down if i was wearing an item of clothing that didn't look good. I would think i looked the cats whiskers but he would soon and in no uncertain terms tell me otherwise. I can remember saying to to him why don't you tell me i look OK anyway and the response was, you brought us up not to lie so i wont!!! Always had an answer did Mikey!!

I'm sitting here now looking around his room knowing he would be unhappy at how untidy i have made it. Mikey was the neatest of people and he did find it hard this year not being able to do the housework etc. He was also very particular with his appearance but was getting so tired even that was an effort. So I'm not going to grumble and I'm going to get this room sorted!!!! That's a job for the morning because................ Tomorrow is another day!!