Why do i continue to be surprised by the people around me!!!
I did have high hopes for today. That was my first mistake of the day. Not the last!!!! Now there is another surprise. I have said before, perfect i am not and yet why cant we just be accepted for who we are not how others want us to be. Life is just tough sometimes and those who have no worries or no concept into dealing with real problems in their lives just need to get a grip. If someone so desperately wants to live my life as me then please do!!!! but only for a day.
Why is it that some people want to live off others misery and troubles and then expect to be able to understand the true emotions not the ones they imagine. If this makes little sense to the reader I'm sorry but i understand my ramblings. Its a parent thing!!! and its also that of a mum who has lived with a child with CF for 25 years. Living and breathing the ups and downs, not someone who only sees the child on good days!! ah well i thought i had got over all this. Misery is fast approaching and she is not going to win this time.
Tims sister rang Tim today, now that i did expect after yesterdays call. The boys call her 20 questions and that hasn't changed, she now wants the photo album back that she gave us of the boys when they were small. I cant even remember her giving us one. Still it obviously wasn't a gift was it!!! I have no idea if we even have it!! its not with all my others. Why should i search for this item when she cant be bothered to talk to me?? and I'm not going to look. I have done so much lately because i have been asked and i am basically fed up with trying to do the right thing. I may as well be hung for a sheep because that's how I'm seen. Wont surprise them will i?
What a whinger i am tonight!!! Just when i was feeling good to.
Tom phoned again today. Good to be in touch so much, its because hes not working all those rotten shifts, we don't like to disturb him until we know hes up and free to chat. He is still snow bound!! and we really are snow free!!
Left Mikey a message today, England failed in their bid to host 2018 World cup no surprise. Mikey would have been on the phone tonight or they would have chatted during a visit about the ins and outs of that situation!!!
Thursdays are such a bad day for me and i still struggle. Its been 14 weeks today since we lost Mikey and its as unbearable now as it was then. I have just got more skilled in not showing it. I miss him so very much i just wish i could see him again even for one minute. No that's a lie, it would never be enough.
Christmas is fast approaching and i wonder how we will get through the day.
But that's not now and Tomorrow is another day.............
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