Day 115

Well winter put on her finest clothing today and breathed her icy breath over the fens last night. Here she is in her glory!! Each tree. shrub. plant, fence and hedge is dressed in her white iron filing appearance. The roads covered with the white powder, the wet patches frozen like glass. How beautiful is the day. Yet no snow. Do we need it. No we have no slushy dirty roads we can walk all be it unsteadily on the pavements without the wet soggy feet at the end of each journey. The freezing fog making the day seem unreal and yet the biting cold seeps through the sturdiest of clothing.

Tim really is not himself. the cold virus has got its grip into him. Its ages since he felt unwell. His cough is the worst and he said lunch time that Mikey endured far far more than he so hes not going to grumble. Paracetamol and cough medicine. Tim said it tasted foul and i told him it must be good then, the more horrible the taste the more effective it is!!! Well my mum said that anyway. Mind you its not working i can hear him barking now! Another sleepless night, that's not unusual though.

I could creep in Mikeys bed, it looks inviting but i don't think i can . I spent most of February and March in it when i broke my wrist and had it in a cast, but just don't want to now. The settee it is then!!!

If i shut my eyes i can see him lying there having a rest, the chair pulled up beside the bed with his beaker of juice and phone, oxygen tubing across the room and condenser humming away. God i miss him. How selfish is that? how can i wish for him back knowing that he was in constant pain and could hardly breath. How could i want to see him struggle with eating, not just because he wasn't hungry but because he couldn't breath for long enough to chew and swallow, and yet............... What i wouldn't give just for a few minutes.

The week end is looming and i am just wishing time would catch up pass me by and take me into the new year!! Why when you wish your time away it never happens. Oh well, Tomorrow is another day.....