Day 114

Cold, cold , cold and not just the weather.
Two very grumpy parents this morning!!!!

Went for a walk to try to clear our heads. So cold. The strange thing is whilst the rest of the country is being covered by all this white stuff we haven't had any!!! Sure the roofs are white, but its just the frosts we are having, the paths like skating rinks!!!

I keep my camera with me to get that unusual picture, but no joy!!!! everywhere looks so tired here at the moment.

Memories of the children's childhood are more prominent in our minds at the moment. Maybe we are having to go back in time to come forwards. I really am not sure.

The young lads next door are not doing so well and we feel so much for the family. If i stop i know i will only be able to offer cold comfort and that's not what they want at this time.
Its that damn word time isn't it. Yet again in all my comments it rears its ugly head. Nothing absolutely nothing i can do about it. Its just get through the days as best we can.
Someone said to Tim the other day that every day is a good day when you wake in the mornings to discover you are alive. That's the only way you can tell the difference between living and dying. Maybe that's the truth. I do hope that's what Mikey did, just went to sleep. I think that will be the only way to get some relief from this grief.

Apart from our walk and i had a trip to one of our local shops we have spent today just sleeping, sneezing and feeling sorry for ourselves!!! Tim's in bed and i can hear him coughing away.

Mikey had this distinctive cough, and i expect all  CF parents will say exactly the same as me that you can tell your childs cough from all the others!!

Toms coming down next weekend so i hope the snow will hold off until after then! we can hope.

Whilst i was in the shop a lady came up to me and gave me a hug, she had been to Mikeys funeral.  Both her children were at school with Tom and Michael and indeed her son kept in touch with Mike up to the time he died. Sandra said she couldn't say anything to us and she then went on to say how her daughters boyfriend had died 18 months ago. It was very sad to hear. He had been knocked over by a car, when they got to the hospital they were unaware of the injuries he had sustained. It was when a doctor came out and said the brain and stomach injuries were serious so could they have his heart!! She said it was such a shock that they kept him on his life support and refused the heart for donation. It is only now that they wished they had but it was due to the abrupt manner of the Dr giving them the news that prevented this from happening. I wonder how often this happens. I would like to think this is a rare occurrence and most Dr's are  more sensitive. Sandra says that to this day she still has not got over the situation. The other thing was that she didn't go to the hospital when his life support was turned off, even though she and her daughter were asked to go, she regrets it to this day and wishes she had gone.
In some ways i wonder if our experience was kinder?

His parents are still trying to come to terms with their loss.
Like us!! and all we can say is Tomorrow is another day................