Day 123

What started as a dull day turned into a very interesting one.

Rain this morning and the fens are so depressing!! That's rich coming from me. I love the fens usually but today the roadsides are like mud. What grass there is looks dirty and dull. The berries are missing from most of the trees and hedgerows so even they look miserable.
The roads well... now the frost has gone we can see the damage caused by the harsh weather conditions and poor tarmac!! Huge gouges in the roads, tarmac lifted in places making them a nightmare to drive on. Thank goodness i no longer ride my motorbike otherwise i would have been off I'm sure. Apart from that, my leathers don't fit me anymore. But maybe in the summer!!!!

Tried to get a camera today but it would appear its best to go on the Internet so Amazon here i come!!

A walk into town this afternoon, checking out the two shops where i maybe able to purchase something from.

Found a couple of tops and a diary for next year! Goodness no calender yet, but it doesn't really matter does it. Who wants to know what day it is anyway. Well i better look for one then cos yes i really do need to know if its Monday or Sunday!! I keep saying all the days seem the same and they do.
Next, find a foundation. Superdrug and what happened there made my blood boil!!!

Minding my own business, checking out the products, so many to choose from. In came a couple of girls who rushed round the corner and started shouting. They then ran past me saying they would kick her head in outside. Not nice teenagers. Walking round the corner there was this pretty little girl crying and a shop assistant saying to her that the girls had gone and they wouldn't let them back in. Bullys!!!! i cannot abide them.

The young girl continued to cry but was trying hard not to. I couldn't help myself and asked her if there was anything i could do. She was afraid to go outside. I asked her if she could phone someone and she hadn't got a phone. Can you get your mum? You can use my phone. Only to be told that she doesn't live with  her mum and her dad was not at home. Her grandad had a car but he always drinks in the afternoons. The young lady didn't come from here originally so had no real family to help. What about a friend? They came up town with me but they were with the girl who picked on me cos they were frightened of her. Not real friends then!!

The young lady said thank you but she would be alright in a little while. Paying for my purchases the two shop assistants kept going outside to see if the bully had gone. Apparently well know by these women as their children attend the same school. The young lady came to the tills and was worried about getting to the bridge just in case they were waiting. I said i would walk her home if that would make her feel better and i did so after telling the shop assistants who i was and letting the young lady that i had no ulterior motive! Well you cant be too careful these days when you help somebody!!.
 What a horrible day for her. I just wish that bully was waiting. Adult or not i would have had to have told her what i thought. She was 13years old!! I'm still furious now.

Mikey was so lucky, he went through school with no bullying. I guess that's because he was so well liked.

Went for our walk tonight and went right round Creek Road. Its an old part of town. It was getting foggy across the fields and as we approached the the railway crossing the barriers came down, the red warning lights a fuzzy glow and across the fields we could see the train. The carriage lights like two slits of pale yellow showing us its movement towards us. Spooky. I think we walked for 3 miles chatting away about all and sundry. Tim reminiscing about the walks he used to have with the dogs before we had children. That seems such a long time ago and yet only a moment. Time, where has it gone.

Tonight, i walked 3 miles on Roger!! so i think i have done well today!!!  i feel quite alive!! The first time in a long time. Exercise is good for you after all. I need to work hard now and must focus on 2012!!! it will creep up without me knowing.

I managed to look at some of Mikeys old papers he kept here. Its surprising when you rummage what you find. Memories stored away just waiting to be found. I took pleasure out of them. It felt good. Am i healing. Grieving i know means heavy burden, is it lifting am i now finding my way out of this darkness. I hope so because i have felt lost. If exercise is the key... so be it, we will see. After all Tomorrow is another day