Day 14

What a day today has been. I thought having Mikey ill was enough but now to find Tom not well is almost too much to bear.

We set off today by train as Tim thought it would be less stressful. Absolutely not but that's for later!

We met Tom at Doncaster, he picked us up at the station and we headed for Meadow Hall in Sheffield we thought we would have a look around and have a meal. Tom has a large dog at home and he is not good with strangers. That's what we are to him. Anyway dogs and me are not a good combination as i am terrified of them.

Toms car is lovely although getting out for me was a little odd. More of that later.

We arrived at Meadow Hall and all seemed well. We looked for somewhere to eat Tom said he really fancied a Harry Ramsdens.

Tom was eating when he said he didn't feel well. Tom was as white as a sheet and had beads of perspiration on his forehead. Tom said he had a really bad pain in his stomach and he had been having episodes like this for a few months. Sometimes much worse than this. Tom said he thought it was because of his poor diet as it got better when he ate properly. Tom then told us that he also had problems with going to the loo properly bouts of diarrhoea and not being able to go. Alarm bells were ringing wholesale when he said that he also passed blood. Tom couldn't continue eating so we took him outside for a while. We then said he had to go to the Dr's. We went back to Doncaster and his surgery.

The surgery was closed for lunch!! So we went to a local service station and waited till they opened.

Tom managed to phone them and got an appointment for 5.30pm.
It was now 2.30pm.

We went back to Doncaster and had a quick look at the shops, Tom bought some DVDs to watch as he doesn't go out at all. He has no social life and must be incredibly lonely by himself. I really wish he could come home. Anyway he said he wanted a shower before he went to the Dr's, so we came home although we really didn't want to.

We thought w would be home by the time he had been to the Dr's and if he needed us to we would return.

The train left on time at 4pm and we should have been home by 5.30pm. Oh no nothing as simple as that. First off there were no seats so we stood in the doorway, we didn't mind as we knew the train was direct to Peterborough so about 45 Min's. Sadly some rotten beggars had vandalised the track at Newark. They had stolen the copper wires to the signals which resulted in a delay. We were standing for 3 hours!!!!
Tom phoned us expecting us to be home but we were only 15 Min's out of Doncaster.

The Dr was very good apparently and gave him a good examination, he didn't think it was anything too sinister. The Dr thinks it maybe Colitis, an inflammation of the bowel or IBS but not sure. He also said that he could see that his brother had Cf and asked how he was. Tom told him and the Dr feels Tom should be tested for that. Tom was unsure if he had been tested in the past. Gut problems are common with CF. Tom said well he couldn't have it hes smoked for some time!!. Tom does get very bad asthma and had a rotten time recently with his chest and had to take time off work. Please don't let it be that!!!!
I know some people didn't even know they had CF until they were quite an age because they had no symptoms early in there life. Tim i know is 508 but they couldn't find mine. So if Tom is tested they may just think hes a carrier if they find 508 and nothing else. Does not bear thinking about.

We have told Tom if he has to go to hospital for tests we will go with him. Lets hope it does not come to that.

What ever else we wont be telling Jen and Ash. That will give them another reason for constantly ringing him. Especially as Ash had bowel cancer. What next.

My hand has been playing up again. I'm sure its because i haven't taken my tablets properly recently. I never bothered after Mikey went into hospital and it was doing well before that. Stupid, stupid woman that i was to fall and break my wrist in January.Its so tight that its a problem clenching my fist, so back to exercising it i suppose.

My whole body aches tonight, i suppose that's because we stood for so long today! No jogging tonight i think!! Tim said ' i knew it wouldn't last' that's what Mikey said about my swimming when i went to see him on the 10th. There he sat with his nippy on making swimming motions with his arms because he couldn't talk to us! He said a few things and wrote the rest down! He said he felt marvellous on the nippy.

 I wish he was still here. I wish we had had the chance to tell him all the things we hadn't said. Asked him questions that will never be answered.

We always respected his privacy and Mikey would always tell us what he wanted us to know.

Early this year he told us about Jason and Claire and we could see how low he was at that time. He stayed with us when Claire went on holiday with her friend and we could see how lonely he was and how he missed her. I can see him now getting ready to collect them from the airport going far to early because he was eager for her to return Then the absolute change in him a few days later when he was re admitted to hospital. He then discussed his relationship with Claire, he told us that they had split up again and it was complicated. That they would remain friends and that Claire would help him through the transplant. We asked Mikey if he wanted to come home but he said no that they would continue to live together as friends. We never ever criticised Claire to him. Mikey would not have liked that at all as he loved her still. I wonder now if we should have pried, i know Jen felt we should and she wanted to know more about the situation.
The sadness because he never knew when she would visit, then the phone call to say don't come because Claire's coming. We never went when Claire visited because we knew how much he loved the time they had alone together.

Don't dwell Sue it does no good at all, i haven't even looked at the good times. That's because i cant. Not yet anyway.

Well it think that's enough for today. It does help Mikey to offload to this blog. Thank you.

So tomorrow is yet another day.