Well i felt better last night getting all of that off my chest!!!
Today would have been Mikey and Claires 5th wedding anniversary and i know he was looking forward to that.
I left messages for Claire today but didn't get any reply but have had a long chat with her tonight through face book and that was really nice.
Claire had had a call from addenbrookes about some things of Mikeys that he left behind some pj,s a bag of sweets and some nesquick and that really made me feel very unwell. We had bought him the sweets and nesquick and i wonder why he took them. Perhaps he thought that he would eat them after the op or because we had bought them for him. I hope it was both.
Claire really doesn't know how she is going to manage the flat and the up keep and really needs a job i will help in any way i can.
I miss Mikey so very much and cannot accept we will never see him again. Its been three weeks today that we lost him and i cant bear it. But i know i have to go through life's motions and i will try my very best to do so.
Ash apologised to Tim for what he said at our house and said it was because he was upset. Tim asked him why he was apologising to him. Tim then told them how it had been for us on that day and how upset i was. Ash said they thought of Mikey as their son and Tim said but he wasn't was he. Ash said he hoped they would have a game of golf soon.
I don't care what Tim does he makes his choices and would not expect him to deprive himself of something he enjoyed doing and with Ash. Me however i cant forgive and i cant forget, but that is just me.
Maddie left me a message yesterday and said anytime i wanted to talk to her about Mikey she would listen she was good at that. I think i will but not today.
I don't feel like writing anymore today.
Tomorrows another day..........
No comments:
Post a Comment