Its the 12th September and its been a month yet it seems a lifetime. I miss Mikey so very much its so hard to accept that we will never see him again.
We didn't get to say our goodbyes. Mikey told us he loved us before going to theatre and we said we would see him later. It should not have ended like that. Yet it was in a way best for Mikey. I keep telling myself that but it doesn't really help.
I can still only think about the week before the op and that fateful day. I wish i could think of the good times, but not yet, not yet.
Tim and i went for a 10 mile walk again today and i took the camera and took some good photos i think. Tim said i should take it up again its years since i did any good stuff. Tim and his Dad used to call me Davinia Bailey!! cos i was always snapping away. Tim called me click happy!!
Had an e mail from Maddy again today its so good that she is keeping in touch. I also spoke to Claire and she asked after Tim and Tom i told her that i was worried about them both. Claire said i could always contact her which was really nice.
Joni bless her has been chatting away on facebook and i generally feel positive afterwards and have a smile at the end of the night. Lovely lovely girl.
Tim looks sad today and has been quieter than usual. He was so low tonight. I popped out to measure the mileage of our walk and his sister phoned him. Tim just seemed totally despondent about her call and they certainly do not give him any comfort. Still perhaps she will be pleasant tomorrow if she comes round. Its laughable to think they avoid asking about me as if i care!!! My goodness i have so many important things on my mind. I also have very good sisters!
I suppose i will have to sort out the last bit this week but i don't want to at all. Never mind little steps.
I will also get in touch with the CF nurses at Papworth this week. Yes that seems a good idea.
Ive left a post on Mikeys wall today. Missing him so very much. Ive said that today haven't I well i guess i will keep saying it.
Tomorrow is another day..............
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