Day 44

I understand that the Japanese view today as being a perfect day. It being 10.10.10!! Well not so lucky for me.

The day started out really sunny. A good omen for the day. The Suzuka Grand Prix had taken place early this morning and although Mark Webb did not win at least he came second. Could still win this year, up there on the leader board.

We decided to take the chairs, and a flask and have restful morning at Graffam Water. Get away from the house.
We got to Graffam about 1030hrs car parking ticket machine not working, should have thought about that!!
We decided to walk along the concrete path around the reservoir and i took some pics of the fly fishing going on. Lovely, we went a little further. We were not really kitted out for walking. A mistake that would cost me dearly later in the day.
We decided to walk to the next village and have lunch. We got there with no problems both of us very comfortable. We found the walk easy and i certainly felt very invigorated. Continuing to take snaps. Once at the restaurant we changed our minds and just had coffee. Tim said lets walk all the way round so i agreed. Its over 10 miles!!!!
Good exercise, different terrains and some hills!!! Still doing well. We discussed that i should have worn my new trainers, yes i wish i had!!!
We had almost reached base. I recognised the gate and the village, not much further to go and we had done well. Tim decided to walk around the lake. Its this way he said. Umm i had already said that when walking we should do it in short stages but he said that was rubbish, so rather than argue decided to go with the flow. So who was i to say i knew which direction to take. I am the worlds worst when trying to find my way anywhere.
Beside the lake we go, only to find ourselves in the middle of these strange fields and Tim saying i think we may have gone wrong!!! but lets keep going if we follow the waters edge we are bound to get back!!! Famous last words.
This route took us at least another 2 miles out of our way amid some dreadful ground. I slipped on the mud and jarred myself trying to keep upright. Although back now painful could feel a pain all down right but cheek and left leg started to go numb. By the time i got back to the car i could hardly walk on that leg.
Now i can hardly put any weight on it at all. Goodness knows how i will be in the morning.

Anyway we got to the car and Tim got the chairs out so much for having time to read the book i bought with me. It was now 2pm. We had walked for 3 hours!!

Did it take my mind of things, well yes it did but i could have thought of a better way.Couldn't i?

All i can think of is can i get fit to continue my routine that i had started for the marathon? i hope it wont be long before I'm fit!!! All Tim said was well buying those trainers yesterday was a waste!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Today was Tims mums birthday and she has been gone for a while now.

Tim said if Mikey is in a better place and could have seen us today he would have been taking the mickey. I'm sure he would. He never could understand some of the stupid things we did.That makes three of us then.
Tim said tonight he must get someone to sort the aerial out. I said we have been saying that for 2 years. Mike said why don't we just get it done instead of talking about it. In fact he said after our holidays when i mentioned it why didn't i just sort it even if dad didn't want it. If it was what i wanted just do it. Here we are 4 mths later and still haven't done anything. Will we ever learn.

Why are we still humming and hahing about irrelevant unimportant things. I really don't know.

The trees are all changing colours today and it was a lovely Indian Summer day it made me think about my story and gave me lots of ideas. Now however I'm just sitting here wondering how the hell i will be when i stand. But i have not complained, whats the point. Its another irrelevance in the grand scheme of things. When i think how much Mikey must have suffered without so much as a grumble. He was so incredibly brave. I know he didn't think he was, but believe me Mikey you were someone very, very, special.

I feel ashamed to have written a page of absolute drivel in comparison. Am i getting egotistical and just thinking about me. I hate those types. Goodness does that mean i hate myself. Well there is a surprise!!!

No tears today, but trying hard not to think too much. I wonder if i am in another stage?? What is it. Is this the denial part? Ive certainly been angry and had disbelief so where am i now. Still waiting to hear from him so the chances are yes that's where i am now.

Well i better try and get up.!!!

Tomorrow is another day..............