I must start my blog today by saying how very grateful i am that Mikey had so many people in his life that cared for and about him. Its because of whats happened that some of them have come into my life. Strangers to me, but who have become friends and some much more than that.
This blog has really become my salvation. I write whats in my heart and whats on my mind. In may ways my life is, and has become an open book to those who visit my page.
I welcome you and thank you for taking the time to read it.
This morning i awoke feeling low in mood. Events at work also made me question my ability as a nurse and carer. A relative ended up comforting me. That's not how it should be. But i was allowed to be human. I couldn't see that at the time but now in the early hours of the morning i can.
I feel as though i can go to bed tonight knowing that others share some of my feelings and that has reassured me that I'm not going mad and felt such a burden lift off my shoulders tonight. I felt for the first time in many weeks a childish glee and joyful wickedness, and do you know, that's OK!
I feel good! I am aware that such feelings usually result in a dark period but i know with the care from others i will come out of the other side. I feel loved. What a gift to bestow on another human being. How generous others are when they too are grieving, do they know what they have done or have they, taken on my burden and just added to theirs. How strong they are.
Misery cannot have me tonight, i banish you, begone from me. I will have rest tonight! i know you will hover and catch me unawares, but not tonight, no not tonight. I refuse to be ensorcelled by you, and i will watch for you tomorrow.
I want to be strong enough to add the rest of Mikes story here and hope that day soon comes, its so tragic and sad but that's not for now, i can feel Misery advancing!!!
But tomorrow is another day..........
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