Rain, rain rain. Didn't want to get up today, didn't feel like work but you know that feeling when you have to make yourself go. That was me today.
I was so busy though that the morning passed so quickly there was no time to think. That was good.
Home for lunch with Tim and he had had visitors so that was good for him.
Back to work and absolute chaos. I had a chocolate biscuit. OK no big deal but ti think i had a sugar rush and it was madness!!!! but good madness. Just couldn't get serious wonderful wonderful felling. What a change from that depressing harridan i have become.
I cant understand the mood swings i have the ups and downs its worse than being on a roller coaster. I feel as though i have met myself, passed her and now chasing to fuse the two of us together. Um not worked perhaps i will find myself tomorrow. I Rather hope not. I like this mad person i am today.
I have to say that my thought processes have verged on downright bizarre, professional, unkind, considerate, vindictive. Ooh that wasn't nice but its there lurking in the background of my mind.Anxious, sad and happy. All of these things today at some point. Am i safe to be let out in the community. ABSOLUTELY. There are far worse than me.
Do i believe in Karma, yes. My evening swim was fab good company and good conversation. First time been able to say aloud some of my feelings so that's been very good. I didn't feel like crying either. So that is huge step forward.
Been looking at places to stay for weekend will talk to Tim about it tomorrow. Will book some days on Thursday. Will ring my sister tomorrow to tell her we will go out for meal on 6th November!! Don't like Chinese but i can always have chips!!!
My back feels so much better today and not being in constant pain does make a difference in how you cope with other day to day problems.
Mike will be home with us on Friday i have made my mind up and that's a relief. Tim will be happy too. Spoke to Mark today and will go and see him Friday.
Will speak to Claire tomorrow to see if everything OK for weekend if not then that will wait to until good for us all.
Lets hope for another day of madness because Tomorrow is another day.
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