Day 48

I was given a copy of the Sun newspaper dated Thursday 10th February 2005. It it was an article about Mikey and Claire.

Claire and Mikey described how they met in hospital in 2003, their engagement when Claire was very ill, and how her condition worsened to the point that she was on bed rest for 5 months with a lung capacity of 15% and how the thought of marrying gave her the will to live.
I am amazed how someone as young as Mikey then aged 18 was so devoted that he visited every day and spent the whole day with Claire keeping her company, what a mature young man he was. I then recalled how his time in hospital was when he was at the same stage in his illness certainly the last couple of months. We would always ask if Claire was visiting or he would let us know if Claire was going to visit or wasn't visiting so we would give him the time alone with her that he desperately wanted.
I know that he wished she could have visited more but as their marriage had ended and they were now friends he told us he couldn't expect her to come so often.
We know that the last couple of months were very hard for him and he was very sad a lot of that time. Mikey wished sometimes that he could turn his head off because of all the thoughts in his mind.
I wish we could have made him happier but that was not something we could do. I know that Maddie was very important to him and he was so pleased he had her to talk to. He also had some very good CF friends who helped keep his spirits up.
Being in a hospital room with just your thought must be very lonely and frightening. How brave was our son to cope with all of that. He really was something else and i am so very very proud of him.

I am going to scan the article tomorrow night and try to put on here for anyone who may be interested to read.

I have been to physio tonight and had some treatment on my back, i just hope it soon hurries up and gets better. I miss my walks and wonder if i will have to start from scratch again. Oh well what will be will be. Its not the end of the world is it. Its just so hard to walk. A few steps and then I'm stuck and in agony!!! Been given some exercises to do as well. Back in a weeks time. He was very kind but its definitely and age thing!!
Discs seem to have seized up as well as the nerve being trapped between them so need to loosen up!

Read on facebook that's Sammie's out of hospital yay!!!!!. Look forward to seeing pics of her cakes!

Tim was a bit down again today and i asked him if the day seems long. Its been raining so he couldn't get out into the garden and do a list of jobs he has planned. I worry about him during the winter. Tim was also looking at a bungalow out of town to buy. I wonder if we will regret moving if we decide to. Its not close to work so i will have to travel and i think i will miss here. It could be the biggest or best decision and i don't know if its the right time to make it. We could just be trying to make too many changes to quickly. Tim may have another plan tomorrow!!! Still think a dog is the best plan, we will talk about that a bit more at the week end.

I think i have managed to get through today better than Tim and he will not admit it but I'm sure hes lonely during the day. But getting Tim to admit that is as hard as pulling teeth.

Joni bless her text me last night to say her Aunt had died aged 60, she had brain tumour diagnosed three years ago. Surgical intervention to remove the tumour was partly successful but they could not remove it all. Although treatment has prolonged her life and she had been poorly lately it still came as a shock.

What next for our family. Its one thing after another.

I think I'm going to pluck up courage and bring Mikey home.

I cant sit much longer so i will close and hopefully add something cheerful tomorrow, because it is after all another day.