I was dreading getting up this morning but i awoke to murmurs of voices, has Tim got the radio on, no definite voices. Oh no hope nothing wrong, but!!! no it was a good friend who called to see how i was. I managed to phone her later in the morning. Di called because she was worried about me. That gave me a real sense of relief. Strange how just a call can make the difference. We are meeting up on Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it.
Tim this morning was delightful, as if yesterday didn't happen. Did it?
Came home at dinner time and he had Roast dinner ready!! and this evening we went to Bar Hill to shop. Time filled and we were content.
Tim met old friend in town and they chatted about Mikey and that seemed to help Tim, who said we must try to celebrate the time we had and not mourn what we cant have.Mikey could never win against his CF and we must leave that behind as much as possible. Perhaps we will.
The thing is there is no manual and no handbook that tells us what is right and what is wrong. There are no set time scales and nothing to measure progress or regression against. We are the the grieving process model. Unique to each blue print. There is only one Mikey and one copy of us as parents. I think that's also true.
If i was to be able to step out of my self and come face to face with that other me i would feel so depressed. I wonder how many readers of this must wonder what they will read next. Sadly this isn't a work of fiction but life as it happens, gosh i hope for a good day.But hardly any pain today and can walk with a trace of a limp. Hope to get out walking and then running soon!! Tim feels that we were doing so well when we had that focus and the last 2 weeks have been nightmare for us both. Tim also wondered if he should have a puppy!!! I told him to start building a run now just in case. Mind you he did say he wondered if a chicken would have the same effect!!!
Tonight i opened my messages and for the first time in a long time i feel alive and useful. Thank you for involving me xxxxx
I'm going to bed feeling positive and i have sense of well being and value. Mike if it wasn't for you i would not have that and once again i am grateful for you leaving us a gift of this person in our lives. Love you and miss you. Soon be home with us xxxx An so to bed because
Tomorrow is another day...........
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