Tuesday 27 March 2012

Day 573-595

22 days of silence! 22 days of just plowing through the days. Existing from one day to the next. Work, home bed, work home, run, bed. So my days progressed. An endless blurr that i can hardly remember.

Work has taken over our lives and i question is it worth it. Well the bills have to be paid. I used to enjoy my job, now the pleasure has gone and I'm working to bring back some joy into the role. Time will tell.

Tim has been so fed up and yet again trying to get time together has been nigh on impossible. So i really must make some changes. The problem is that major changes are taking place and y job is to steer the ship and stop it from sinking, we are listing at present!!!

So my running! its only 4 days now before the Olympic park and stadium run and i am getting nervous. The new trainers i have are giving me problems and i am still getting used to them, however i have just had the biggest blister imaginable, lets hope they heel well.

I have been to hospital and been treated for skin cancer on the face and legs! So its long skirts and baseball hats for me now.

Sue my running buddy remains injured and cannot run in the Edinburgh marathon with me now! although she is still coming up for the race. I will be lonely running alone though. Still its all in a good cause. Some of the runners in the club are injured and at least one has dropped out because of an ankle injury.

So i have my race pack and numbers and tomorrow i will get my bag packed!! and Thursday no run because i don't want to be too tired!

Lon runs on Sundays i am up to 14.25 miles! yippee but its the after effects that surprised me and i wasn't really expecting. So tonight's run was so hard!!  Still onwards and upwards.

I'm really tired and need some R and R so hope that will come soon!!! anyway tomorrow is another day...................

Sunday 4 March 2012

Days 565/566/567/568/569/570/571/572

This is becoming a habit. Late blogging. I so enjoy the time i have to sit and ponder the days events and reflect on where i am today

Special time, we all need that. Those moments when we can let of steam and maybe look back on in weeks to come.
Since i started this blog and how Mikeys death has affected us i haven't looked back. Its still too painful. Neither have i been able to look at the cards etc we received. I would like to do that but something stops me.
Mikey is with us in the lounge and there is not a day that doesn't pass that i look and think about what was and what could have been. I know that life is just so unfair.
Do you die of a broken heart? i know now that there are many ways to die it doesn't have to be physical.

We are wandering through the days. Time passes not necessarily healing, and do we want the wound to heal i rather think not.

I am trying to do things to make sure that i honour Mikeys memory, not sure what I'm losing on the way, but i do think i am gaining more that losing!

I have become more assertive about my needs and that the running is a prime example. I love it. I think mainly the fact that each time i go out i am challenging myself, pushing just that little bit more.

So this past week has yet again been full of work and problems and my home life has taken second place and that has to stop. I don't know how to do that!! i feel i am on a roller coaster that i cannot get off.

Mustn't go there or i will spoil my few minutes of my time.
Tim's in bed asleep and here i sit.


Running is going so well at the minute but i know how quickly that can change!!! so trying to look after myself

Last Sunday i ran 10.25 miles and during the week my legs were so sore! still this morning came and i ran for 11.25 miles!!!
I can hardly believe it is possible. It was raining and that was my first time i ran like that. I was soaked through and didn't care. Next time i will carry a change of clothes!!
I have been so lucky that some of the more seasoned runners have taken me under their wing.

I have just received my new Nikon, yes another camera. This time a slimline ultra light one that i can take with me on the Olympic run and the marathon. I'm going to make the most of both occasions as its very doubtful i will do another!!

Mikeys lovely friend who he thought of as a sister has now told everyone that she is engaged to be married. I was so proud that she shared that with me last year. Mikey would have been over the moon for her.

Dukes on the mend after the health scare last week and almost appears back to his usual self.

So another week begins, its March and Spring is just around the corner and it snowed today!!

I thought i would start having some early nights but it would appear that i cant even get that right. God its got to stop.

So to bed.
I will try to put some photos on and give this memory record some life!  Ah well tomorrow is another day.................