I guess I have discovered in the last 14 months that there are some things worse than misery and that is apathy.
The state of mind I have been wallowing in!
This time last year I was home alone. Tim having an accident on New Years Eve which left him unable to walk for 6 months.
I suppose I should go back a little to my last post when we were on holiday. Returning back and the problems at work were to haunt all of the work force until two weeks a go. The stress of that has been unbelievable on top of that coping at home and the changes we had to make.
Tims accident whilst out walking the dog last year the fact I went to the wrong hospital! pulled up outside to find it boarded up! I had forgotten the new hospital had opened! well we used to take Mikey so often the car went by itself. Then having to work out how to get to the other one.
Eventually getting there to find tim with a possible broken leg, and it got worse, not only was it broken but every bone in the left leg. No one would operate, a week in hospital before trauma surgeon agreed to operate and then pins plates and screws to hold the leg together. Then 6 months of non weight bearing.
Coping at home, Tim coming to Terms with his mobility issues! a wheelchair to come to terms with, walking frames to accept, crutches to master a walking stick and then independence! Hard to think now how we overcame those hurdles.
And then the dog and his walks, time for me to take over. What a trial that was I had picked up an injury whilst doing a cross country run in November. A beast of a dog to walk, so powerful and big. Nightly walks out alone in the dark, all weathers, rain, frost snow and ice. Wind!! the times I almost gave in. The fact I put a light on his collar to warn others we were on our walkabouts!
I tried running with him, well that's another story! The injury was to take nearly a year to heal.
I missed my marathon training, I had got a place in the London marathon but just wasn't able to get the training in so deferred until this year.
I tried to keep running, it kept me sane but it has been hard this last year, in July I managed to get chased by dogs, vaulted a 6 foot gate and yes got yet another injury and its still not 100% yet.
Mikey was in our thoughts this year almost daily, I know Tim spent a lot of time unable to do anything but think. Pain and boredom were his constant companions.
The pain of losing Mikey has not diminished but maybe we are accepting that that is how it will be, but I don't think im as angry as I was.
Hospital visits were, should I say interesting, goodness just thinking about it now makes me quake! Tim didn't make a good passenger or a good patient, I became multi skilled. Try getting a wheelchair out and assembled, putting on the leg extensions, get time out of the back of the car as he had to sit sideways on the seat as his leg could not bend, push it and carry a frame, and lets be honest car parks don't have the smoothest of surfaces, need I say more!
Apart from running the support I had from Liz my cousin has been amazing and I really don't know how I would have coped, she has been fabulous I cant express that enough, a lifeline, a listener and someone who truly cared, I feel blessed to have her in my life.
So is this year going to be different, I do hope so anyway. Training for the Marathon is underway, still painful though but there will be no other opportunity so I will either run it or run and walk I will be doing it what ever!
Well day one of 2015 and I have been back here thank goodness and I will endeavour to write daily I have missed off loading!
Ah well tomorrow is another day........
