day 66

Today I've decided to recall how we reached the period of Mikes death and how to grieve. In order to do this i think i have to go back to our beginning. That's Tim and i. I hope that by revising our past i will be able to cope with the future. In doing so hope that i will be able to get our relationship back on track.
When you lose someone so special in your life it doesn't just affect one person. The ripple spreads, just like when you throw a stone in a pond. The water returns once again to being a still expanse of water. That's what we need peace.

Love. That's what all of this is about!

Can you remember the first time you met the person who you think this is the one!! Its happened to us all. Our life changes, for some it is the happy dream others it can become a nightmare. For us i suppose it was the first!!

We were 17 when we met, gosh that's so long ago and here we are 39years later and still together, we are hanging on by a very fragile thread.
We met at the status fair in town spent the rest of the night together, he walked me home and i thought that was that. A nice evening though.
It was several weeks later that he drove past as i was walking home one evening. Tim stopped asked me out for a drink and we have spent the rest of our lives together.
I was just about to go To Luton to do my nurse training. I ended up going and spent the time there with Tims photo stuck in my uniform pocket during the day and crying to it every night. Well i was only young!! I also moved away from home and that was a huge change for me.

                                                   
                             Me in my room school of nursing Luton and Dunstable ( me on left)

Tim aged 17years!! wasn't he handsome.

       I only stayed there for 6 months because we missed each other so i came home and completed my training at our local hospital.

We were like any young couple and spent as much time together as we could. We enjoyed ourselves.

 The boys found it hard to believe that we were one of the few parents that were still in the same relationship.

  Tim used to play football most Saturdays and we would go to his house for tea afterwards. His mum used to have it all ready for when the match finished. Tim would often bring flowers home because the manager grew flowers as a hobby and would sell them cheap to the players.

I'm enjoying this its making me happy remembering the good times. Its been so sad in this house. I'm going to bed thinking yep if i can get some of this joy back we will make it.

We went out for a walk tonight and managed 2 miles. That's also making me feel good and i have a running partner yay!!!

Well I'm going to close and try to add a bit more tomorrow about us because the labels are CF mike and us. That includes Tom!!

I'm feeling positive. And tomorrow really is another day......................