Gosh it just seems that I'm getting later and later writing at the moment. Tims tucked up in bed and its so damn cold!!!
Reflecting back over the last few days has been a revelation and has enabled us to look ahead, just a little but its a start.
The days away have given us back a little of each other and above all else a bit of tolerance too. I can at least come home now to a husband and someone that i can relate to. None of these have been Tims fault but more me and how i have perceived life i think.
Having spent the last three days sleeping for most of the time walking the rest and just chilling and enjoying a change of scenery have worked wonders.
The weather although cold was dry and we have been able to get out and do some good walks. The Royal walk at Torquay and a late night walk or two by the ocean has been so calming. There has been no hustle and bustle, no deadlines to meet just us and time!! and for once not our mortal enemy.
The one thing we have said is that Mikey would have been interested and pleased that we had done something different but we know that had Mikey been here now we would have just chugged away in our boring way. Sad isn't it that we had to wait for this to happen and in some ways allowed life and our youth to pass without being aware. But we are where we are now and need to make the most of the time we have left to us. We are looking to go away again in March.
It was so easy sitting in our lodge looking out at the ocean and seeing the horizon, imagining what it was like years ago when it was thought that the horizon was the end of the earth and we would drop off the edge, or imagining the fear of those living close to the sea and watching invaders approach. A time to imagine and enjoy our solitude. For once not dwelling on what has passed.
Mikey was with us in thoughts but we were able to have some joy in our memories and not so much despair. Today however sadness did return but not in that surge of feeling that we drowned in, we have been able to surf the water and are still standing.
The unpleasant thoughts of the last few weeks and the effect the actions of others have had on us are now just an unpleasant fading memory and we can concentrate on Mikey and on Tom, that has to be good.
Our paper lanterns will be a beacon of our love and thoughts, at last i can see something positive to happen on Xmas day. Not much but some small precious moment to look towards.
Tom is snowed in up in Doncaster as they have had some heavy snowfall, we have had very little in comparison, i hope he will be down for a while next week. We are both looking forward to that.
I wonder what he will think of Mikey being here with us, as yet Tom has not seen his treasured place here at home. I hope he will not think it morbid but a comfort. We shall see.
No time to put any more pics here tonight but tomorrow is another day........
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