Friends like you are rare. We have known each other for 30years. Oh my goodness isn't that a long time!!! Our children were born very close to each other, Mathew and Tom and then Mikey and Victoria. I treasure our friendship more that anything you have been such a great support over the past few months and yet never expecting anything from me, just there propping me up by your kind thoughts and messages. Today i really needed those hugs and i just want the world to know that i love you xxxxxx. Don't worry I'm only away for three days so i promise a huge blog next Monday!!!
I hope Tim and i can get back on track and do some communicating! Well it does talk of snow and we may just be stuck in doors with each other for all of that time EEK.
Diana and me early 8o's look at the ambulance Di a bit dated now!!
Ive had some really bad days and some not so bad ones, I'm so lucky to have so many people who really care for us and worry about us. So to everyone of those and i know you also read this my heartfelt thanks and immense gratitude just for being there, for putting up with me and most of all for understanding the pain I'm going through. I cant say this out loud because i will just get upset and i cant cope with that now. Tears are for home and private time now. Yep i know i cant help the odd slip and know that it will happen when i least expect it but perfection I'm not!!
I am still amazed by the human race and i suppose i am really gullible, Mike and Tim frequently have told me that, but i look to see the best in people really and never think that they would think and act the way they do!! i suppose i expect their standards to be the same. I never expected the term 'in laws' to be used quite so early and i then question how Mikey was thought of or not?? If that's the case why deprive a parent of treasured belongings. That's something i guess i will never know but if the boot was on the other foot i know i wouldn't be like that. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I expect the correct word is conscience, some have one and some don't. Thank goodness my parents taught me how to be a decent person. Thanks folks even though your not here now i miss you both to.
I am at least able to write my feelings down and its been such a relief, each night going to bed having unburdened myself. Knowing that these thoughts are mine alone!! Yes the reader will make their own mind up about me and the way I'm dealing with grief, everyone copes differently so who is to say I'm wrong!! what a relief saying that.
At this very moment I'm feeling more settled, no longer angry, a little confused and very very sad still but it in control more often than not. That's progress. But we all no that tomorrow is another day......
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